WITH a new forward written by God, the Vatican is hoping the Catholic Church’s Covid-hit revenues can bounce back with the introduction of ‘The Bible, Now With Even Newer Testaments’ to book shop shelves. “It’s rare enough to get God to a write a forward to a book so we’re very grateful, even if his… Read more »
FLIPPING two middle fingers in the air, British-Indian writer Salman Rushdie is said to starting his recovery after an assassination attempt just days ago, taking no time to call out his attacker and anyone like him. “I’m still here, motherfuckers!” Rushdie shouted down the lenses of the assembled press camera, “looks like Allah was on… Read more »
DESPITE suffering a setback in the form of the High Court ruling the Mother and Baby Homes Commission treated survivors unlawfully, the government is confident that it has made the redress scheme sufficiently onerous and riven with inevitable delays that the State just needs to hold out for several more decades. “There’s the report itself… Read more »
A WATERFORD based Catholic has been granted special dispensation by Pope Francis himself to reach the religious grade of ‘professional’, WWN has learned. “Baptism, communion, confirmation done and I was still called a ‘practising Catholic’, I just felt it was a bit of an insult, I said as much to Francie. I said ‘I’ve put… Read more »
AS RUMOURS swirl about Pope Francis’ imminent resignation from his position as God’s PA, WWN casts our eyes over his possible successor. So readers are aware we have not considered any women as we feel presenting the church as open and equal enough of an organisation to see women as equal to men would have… Read more »
LOCAL curious man David Ferrin has exclusively revealed that he is at his most distracted and dangerous on the roads when driving passed his local mosque, WWN can confirm. “Just my curiosity getting the better of me, still mad to think there’s a mosque down the road,” said the Dublin native, who rubbernecks for glimpses… Read more »
TO CELEBRATE the Fine Gael, Fianna Fáil and Green party coalition government securing* the land for the National Maternity Hospital site at St Vincent’s Hospital, WWN has been treated to an exclusive look at the interiors of the proposed design for the State owned** hospital which comes with no catches***. The state of the art… Read more »
THE government has spun it’s ‘big wheel o’ apologies’ and landed on ‘illegal birth registrations’, the fancy new term that it has coined for the practice of the Catholic Church selling babies to wealthy families and doctoring the paperwork to make everything seem legit and the State turning an ignorant eye. As such, the Minister… Read more »
AWARE of the public’s complete apathy when it comes to protesting, the coalition government is set to plow on with a deal which will see the running of the €1bn National Maternity Hospital subject to the whims of the Catholic Church. “Do as many incredulous social media posts you like, as long as you’re not… Read more »
ONE LOCAL Waterford man with deep seethed enmity towards the Catholic Church for everything from its covering up of child sexual abuse, operating of an illegal child trafficking racket and condemning people based on their sexual orientation is still somehow going to tick ‘Catholic’ on the upcoming census. “I’m agnostic and have no affiliation with… Read more »