Tag: gaa

Kilkenny Fans Turning Up To Croke Park Out Of Habit

A STEADY stream of understandably devastated Kilkenny locals have been turned away from Croke Park this morning after security staff gently broke the news to them that their county, winners of 8 out the last 12 All-Ireland hurling championships, were not in this year’s final. “Fuck sake,” declared an upset Kilkenny native, who, owing to… Read more »

Dublin Win Leinster Championzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

THE DUBLIN GAA team have clinched the Leinster Senior Football Championship title for the eighth year in a row, after a decisive victory over Laois at Croke Park yeste rda y at Crokk park wher decisive victory Leinster… Sorry, just dozed off there for a second. Apologies. Dublin cruised to victory over Laois with a… Read more »

GAA To Finally End Practice Of Using Blind Umpires

THE GAA has confirmed it is to end its highly controversial practice of only placing the visually impaired in umpire positions in All Ireland Hurling games. The welcome news comes after blind umpires failed to notice a goal scored by Tipperary against Waterford in Sunday’s Munster Championship clash was not in fact a goal, as… Read more »

Kilkenny Teen Excommunicated For Playing Football

A LOCAL KILKENNY teen who has openly spat in the face of the rich hurling heritage of his county becomes only the 17th Kilkenny native to be found in possession of a football, playing so-called ‘Dublin games’. Similar to the former rules prohibiting GAA members from playing foreign sports such as soccer, the Kilkenny county… Read more »

Ireland Take Gold In Ice-Hurling At Winter Olympics!

THERE were wild celebrations in Ireland’s cities this morning, after its ice-hurling team won an unprecedented gold for the 10th Winter Olympics running, this time in South Korea. Ice-hurling remains the only event in the much storied games that is contested by one nation and one nation alone, however, Ireland’s ice-hurling coach Brian Cody praised… Read more »