Tag: news

Local Man Too Tough To Put Hood Up In Snow

WHILE the majority of soft-shites in Ireland are wrapping up warm against the Arctic conditions brought by Storm Emma, local hard chaw Derek Canning has been spotted walking around outside without a hat or a hood up, WWN can confirm. Firmly stating that it’s ‘not that cold’, Canning has been on several unnecessary journeys today… Read more »

Ireland Closed

NORMALLY open with operating hours of 00.00-24.00 hours, Ireland has instead taken the decision to close with severe disruption to users of Ireland, WWN has learned. Tommy McNally, Ireland’s caretaker spoke to WWN late last night as he was tasked with putting closed signs on various parts of the country. “This is probably the largest… Read more »

Brexit Negotiations Progress Significantly As Boris Has Mouth Sewn Shut

THE EU has heralded the progress made in Brexit negotiations in the hours following Britain’s decision to sew Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson’s mouth shut, limiting his ability to broadcast ridiculous statements. “We cannot overstate the progress that has been made, truly, this is a watershed moment in the negotiations,” confirmed the EU’s lead negotiator Michel… Read more »