New EU Wide Travel System Not Expected To Affect Rich Pricks Who Do What They Want


A NEW EU wide ‘traffic light system’ relating to flights is expected to not expected to affect rich arseholes in any demonstrable way as they continue to do what they want.

“Oh, lol, no, the pandemic is for poor people, silly,” shared one woman who hit a new personal record high this year when it comes to city breaks across Europe.

“Fuck it, you just need it, don’t you – to de-stress. Anything to get away from the gardener and the cleaner and their ‘my mother’s dying from the virus’ moaning,” added the woman.

When asked how the various differing restrictions in place since March across Europe have affected them, well off individuals remarked ‘what restrictions?’ before explaining they have a person who looks after all that ‘bullshit’ for them.

“Oh, yeah, but you just don’t fucking do it, duh,” explained one man from a boat in southern France when asked about adherence to quarantining rules in place in various countries.

“Am I technically ‘Covid-19 positive’ now? Yes! But I’ve taken precautions. Do you know how cheap it is to get a clean test from some desperate jobless sod’s nasal passage?”

“Everyone’s doing it,” confirmed the man, who last spoke to someone earning less than mid 6-figures when he started crying at the midwife who delivered him shortly after being born 40 years ago.

Elsewhere, in a bid to recover from the disruption caused to the aviation industry by Covid-19, Ryanair have announced that all individuals who do not fly with Ryanair will now face a ‘not flying with us’ charge of €20 every week.