DUBLIN’S new runway saw its first successful takeoff today, as a Ryanair flight took to the sky from the €320m stretch of tarmac; just as another Ryanair pilot prepared to wallop his plane and passengers into it like it owed him money. “Ryanair E34200, you are clear for landing on the new runway, now we… Read more »
ANY hope that Brexit would see a reduction in lagered-up British pissheads eating plates of beans in blazing sunshine of Europe’s favourite holiday destinations have been dashed, after a recent survey showed no fall in the number of Britons travelling abroad this year. “For a country of people who held a vote to decide how… Read more »
BELEAGUERED DUBLIN airport staff are contending with fresh customer dissatisfaction after completely losing track of the airport itself. “It was here just a second ago,” said one staff member, who promised to find Shane Lowry’s missing golf clubs just as soon as they could locate the airport, which up until last night remained in situ…. Read more »
A CATASTROPHIC ‘bagslide’ at Dublin airport has left many people in need of medical attention, while many more remain trapped under thousands of rucksacks, suitcases and carry-alls as emergency services desperately try to free them. Airport authorities had been warned that the 4,200 pieces of lost luggage that were being held at Dublin airport were… Read more »
ALREADY conspiring to see how to make a one-week holiday into two weeks with the government’s new sick pay scheme, WWN guides you now through the process of what is set to be the most misused employment law that enhances worker’s rights that the nation has ever seen. Search Calandar For Bank Holidays/Holy Days As… Read more »
A DESPERATE two-month long search for a Waterford man has been called off after he was found safe and well in the departure lounge of Dublin Airport, albeit in a confused and weary state. Michael McGannon, 36, had set off for a weekend trip to see friends in Scotland in April of this year, before… Read more »
MEMBERS of the Irish armed forces that have dodged PTSD for their entire careers have broken down in a shuddering heap within hours of being deployed to Dublin Airport, WWN can confirm. “I did three tours in war-torn African states, but nothing could compare to an hour of telling people in an airport security queue… Read more »
CAUTIOUS travellers have reported that Dublin Airport seems to be moving smoothly in recent days, with no signs of the recent catastrophic breakdowns in management that lead to queues, delays and missed flights- but not everyone has let their guard down just yet. “I don’t like it, chief,” whispered one frazzled security staff member to… Read more »
THE Dublin Airport Authority has today humbly accepted apologies from passengers for causing the recent chaotic scenes and announced passengers arriving too early for flights will be placed in a ‘holding area’ outside the airport from now on. WWN has obtained leaked plans for the holding area with a number of options other consideration including:… Read more »
THE PROSPEROUS and affluent nation of Ireland, with a GDP larger than the the known universe, is in such a terrible state that those priced out of living here can’t even leave anymore, WWN can report. “I thought leaders in this country telling me to borrow from the Bank of Mom and Dad if banks… Read more »