Using Your 3 New Paid Sick Days To Extend A Holiday Abroad, A Guide

ALREADY conspiring to see how to make a one-week holiday into two weeks with the government’s new sick pay scheme, WWN guides you now through the process of what is set to be the most misused employment law that enhances worker’s rights that the nation has ever seen.

Search Calandar For Bank Holidays/Holy Days

As if you haven’t already done this, we’ve found that Good Friday and Easter Monday is the perfect weekend to pull a sicky, making sure to book your holidays either before or after this weekend accordingly. Depending on how long you’ve been working for your company, you can be entitled to as many as 10 days paid leave under the new scheme, allowing you to milk the absolute bollocks out of a sun holiday when suited. Excuses like, ‘caught the Rona beyond’, or ‘drank from the tap in Spain’ will be just enough information to extend your one week break into a three-week holiday of a lifetime.

Proxy 4 Day Week

Sick of working 5 days a week and your boss doesn’t want to go down the new hip four-day week routine? Well, look no further, the new sick pay scheme will allow you to call in sick every Monday for 3-10 weeks. Why not use your actual holidays to book the remaining Monday’s off. Fuck Mondays. Fuck work. Sure, you might have some Mondays to work but they’ll be practically novelty Mondays and so scarce to you that you won’t even notice them when staggering in of a Monday caked in kebab juice and stinking of beer.

“Yeah, but you need a doctor’s note to get the paid sick day, so… “

Sure, but a doctor’s note only costs around 50-70 euros and knowing doctors don’t really care if you’re actually sick as long as they just get the money, then you’ll still make a few bob off the top while having a lovely day off sitting in the back garden drinking cans, so it all balances out.

Enjoy.