Dublin Airport Calm This Morning… Too Calm…

CAUTIOUS travellers have reported that Dublin Airport seems to be moving smoothly in recent days, with no signs of the recent catastrophic breakdowns in management that lead to queues, delays and missed flights- but not everyone has let their guard down just yet.

“I don’t like it, chief,” whispered one frazzled security staff member to their supervisor this morning, watching passengers file through the pre-flight checks with little or no hassle.

“It all just seems too easy. It feels like there’s something coming, something big. I don’t know what it is, but it ain’t extra staff and better contracts for you and me, that’s for sure. This is something bad, something that will make the last skirmish seem like the queue for the portaloos at a bowling green”.

Elsewhere, holidaymakers and business people, some who arrived 9 hours early for their flights just to be on the safe side, all agreed that there was a palpable sense of tension in the airport, and that they were glad to be flying out shortly.

“Just massive relief, so glad that went smoothly. Look at me, I’m shaking,” said one member of a fifteen-strong stag party on their way to Newcastle.

“I was sick to my stomach for a week before this, but we made it through easily enough. No waiting outside, no missing our flight, no fights in the terminal. But you can tell this is the calm before the storm. There’s a hurricane coming, and it’s name is school holidays. Once me and the brew crew get back from this weekend, I’m avoiding this place for a year”.

Meanwhile, Dublin Airport Authority have announced that both Terminal 1 and 2 are currently experiencing no delays and that passengers have nothing to worry about, sparking immediate mass panic and rioting.