INNER city Dublin teens involved in a number of anti-social incidents recently are being warned that they will now be rounded up and dropped into Northern Ireland’s most troubled areas in a bid to show them ‘what it’s really like to violence’, WWN can confirm. Following a series of incidents across the city which saw… Read more »
DALKEY’S large population of native badgers, once endangered by the prospect of a 104-bedroom nursing home being built in the area have broken their silence to heap praise on neighbour and objector to the build Pat Kenny. “We owe him our lives, we plan on giving him the highest honour the badger community can bestow… Read more »
THE streets and bar populating the popular Dublin hot spot have been declared piss-free for the first time in over two centuries, with experts citing the Covid pandemic as the main reason why so little urine has been expelled in the area over the last 12 months. “When we say main reason, well, it’s the… Read more »
DESPITE a vast range of iconic landmarks to choose from, a manky pair of decommissioned chimneys from an ESB station have managed to somehow become Dublin city’s most loved landmark, WWN can confirm. The chimneys, which have no real relevance apart from first featuring in a U2 music video once, has somehow crowbarred its way… Read more »
DESPITE news that Dublin rental prices decreased to levels that mean a rancid bedsit the size of shriveled grape is only €1400 a month, one local couple have maintained their stance that the capital is not enough of an overpriced kip to consider moving to Carlow. “Stabbings becoming an Olympic sport, soul crushing rent, traffic… Read more »
A CONTROVERSIAL new white-water rafting facility is to allow the city’s homeless community to sleep there when not in use, allocating one raft to each homeless person wishing to avail of the new scheme, Dublin City Council (DCC) confirmed. The €22.8 million construction, soon to be €50 million, has come under fire by politicians and… Read more »
DESCRIBED as a ‘well-ventilated, open plan living area’ that would ‘suit a small family’, a Dublin manger has drawn anger from renters after hitting the property market at €1,300 a month. The property, located at the edge of the city with ‘stunning views of the surrounding sheep-covered hills’, was listed this morning and has already… Read more »
A CRISIS is emerging in Dublin following the soul destroying news that the derelict Iveagh Markets site in The Liberties will not be turned into a hotel, and instead could be restored to its original form after being repossessed by Lord Iveagh. Decried as a ‘cancer eating away at Dublin’s soul’, many worried developers have… Read more »
TAKING advantage of teams now being given special permission to have their full panel in attendance at Croke Park, Cavan have hit upon a scheme which could see them even up the odds between them and overwhelming favourites Dublin, who are in search of 6-in-a-row. “Shut up and say nothing,” argued Cavan manager and former… Read more »
DUBLINERS were greeted by the presence of an enormous metal monolith this morning located directly in the middle of O’Connell Street, standing hundreds of feet high with no one able to explain how or why the monstrosity got there. “The fuckin’ state of that thing,” replied one local resident when we pointed out the long,… Read more »