Tag: dublin

Dubliners Assured We Know What They Mean

THERE is no longer a need for people from Dublin to enquire ‘d’you know what I mean?’ at the end of every sentence, after the nation came together to stress that they heard them the first time. “We know what you mean, you don’t have to ask,” came the impassioned plea from the nation, following… Read more »

LEGO Store Opening Delayed After Builders Lose Piece

DISASTER struck at the planned opening of Ireland’s first ever LEGO store on Grafton St after structural engineers failed to locate one piece which the LEGO booklet stats should clearly be there but remains missing. Parents queuing outside with their children who they were clearly using as a smokescreen for their own obsession with building… Read more »

M50 Declared Best Place In Ireland To Meet Singles

AS more and more of Dublin’s bars, nightclubs and cultural hubs continue to close down to make way for hotels and offices, single people have found a new meeting-spot where they can try their hand at finding love; the M50 at rush hour. “It’s summer, it’s hot, we’re all sitting there in gridlock with our… Read more »

Dublin Airport Goes Missing Over Night

BELEAGUERED DUBLIN airport staff are contending with fresh customer dissatisfaction after completely losing track of the airport itself. “It was here just a second ago,” said one staff member, who promised to find Shane Lowry’s missing golf clubs just as soon as they could locate the airport, which up until last night remained in situ…. Read more »

Vote On The New Name For The Poolbeg Chimneys

IN A BID to foster the sort of wave of nostalgia that will have people dismissing the reported €3 million cost (rising to €30 million due to unforeseen costs) to keep two glorified toothpicks in the Dublin horizon, there have been calls to bestow the Poolbeg Chimneys with a nickname to rival The Stiffy on… Read more »

Nation Celebrates Two-In-A-Row

THERE were jubilant scenes after Dublin crashed out of the GAA senior football championship at the semi-final stage for the second consecutive year, sparking nationwide celebrations yesterday. β€œIt’s a young squad, they could do three-in-a-row, maybe even four,” said one ecstatic GAA fan, who had to weather a 6-year drought of Dublin victories before the… Read more »