Here’s What The Dublin Airport ‘Holding Area’ For Passengers Could Look Like
THE Dublin Airport Authority has today humbly accepted apologies from passengers for causing the recent chaotic scenes and announced passengers arriving too early for flights will be placed in a ‘holding area’ outside the airport from now on.
WWN has obtained leaked plans for the holding area with a number of options other consideration including:
Coaxing passengers via a breadcrumb trail made of toblerones, human sized mouse traps will keep passengers in place until it is their turn to join a lengthy queue from where they will have a perfect view of the plane they should have been on leaving without them.
Another option are these roomy human pods with extensive ventilation which would be kindly donated by a number of Irish landlords.
If at any point passengers need to ask questions about their waiting time the DAA has hired Parisian riot police as customer liaison officers.
Don’t worry, when you’re doused in streams of pepper spray you will then be placed in a clear plastic bag and treated as an onboard liquid.
Any pregnant women who give birth while waiting to get through to departures will see their child go to the back of the queue. Nice try though.
In a bid to bridge the gap between passengers feeling like they’re being treated like animals and actually being treated like literal animals, the DAA is considering state of the art cattle pens.
Quick drying cement could keep passengers in place until it is there turn to feel faint after 6 hours of queuing inside the airport.
If the queues in the holding area become too long, police sniffer dogs will be tasked to faking dedicating drugs on some passengers in the queue in a bid to reduce congestion.
UPDATE: the name of the holding area is to be changed after a marketing firm carried out some focus group testing.