Tiny Island Shocked Rest Of The World Can’t Do Its Vast Range Of Accents Properly


SECRETLY loving every second of the furore surrounding the appalling Irish accents in Irish set Hollywood rom-com ‘Wild Mountain Thyme’, the nation of Ireland has once again been taken completely by surprise by the failure of someone to mimic its vast range of accents correctly.

“Jaysus, don’t get me started on how it’s set in 2000-and-famine times but the state of those accents, how hard can it be to get a proper voice coach on set?” queried one man from a small rural town of 900 people in which over 43 different and very distinct accents can be found.

Thankfully, the director responsible for the offensive movie was arrested during a dawn raid by gardaí and charged for offense relating to The Darby O Gill Act of 1959. A crack team of Irish actors have been sent to Hollywood to butcher American accents in a revenge attacks.

“Fuck sake, the Mullingar accent isn’t exactly tough to do, is it? No not that Mullinger one, and not the Mullingar one you’re thinking of that’s all harsh, the softer one, but a proper one y’know; one from a family that’s had its roots here since before the Counties of Meath and Westmeath Act of 1543, no that’s a Castlepollard one you eejit,” shared one Irish accent purest.

Speaking for the first time to the media, the voice coach on Wild Mountain Thyme defended his work:

“Oil huve yoooo know, Oirland is close te me hourt,” explained the coach, “Tura lura lura, it was probably about turty tree and a turd of de way true pradoction on de fillum dat I saids to meself, I think we’ve nay-ulled de accents and begorrah we did”.

Wild Mountain Thyme, an abomination according to all Irish people, should bag the Irish tourism industry millions of euro.