Tag: fine gael

“Here’s Leo”

WITH all the elegance and grace of a paraplegic sloth on quaaludes, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar awoke from his post election slumber to tear down the door of the electorate’s consciousness in the hopes of forming some kind of government that no one particularly wants. “Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in. Not by the… Read more »

Fine Gael Leave Catherine Noone To Guard The Base

FINE GAEL Senator Catherine Noone has been given one of the most important jobs a politician could possibly be given during a general election campaign; staying behind and ‘guarding’ headquarters while everyone else goes out canvassing. Noone, who landed in hot water this week after referring to the Taoiseach as being on the autistic spectrum,… Read more »

Maria Bailey Reinstated After Calling Migrants Scum

A DRAMATIC u-turn from the Fine Gael party has seen TD Maria Bailey, recently deselected from the party’s Dun Laoghaire election ticket, suddenly reinstated after making derogatory comments against migrants, travellers and whatever ethnic minority the party felt deserved it, in a bid to appease senior party officials. “I just said fuck it, I’ll go… Read more »

Fitzgerald’s Career In Tatters After Being Forced To Remain As TD, With Full Ministerial Pension

DISGRACED former Tánaiste Frances Fitzgerald is feeling the full force of the unforgiving nature of Irish politics after being voted as Fine Gael candidate in Dublin-Midwest once again by her party colleagues, WWN can confirm. Showing no one is safe from consequences in Irish public life, Fitzgerald has been punished harshly with not resigning as… Read more »

New Poll Figures Reveal Politicians Are A Bunch Of Self-Serving Pricks

A NEW opinion poll has found that Irish politicians are a bunch of self-serving pricks as the country faces a possible Christmas election amid the continued controversy over an email sent to Tánaiste Frances Fitzgerald concerning garda whistleblower Maurice McCabe. The poll, carried out by WWN, showed that the majority of the country believed their local Dáil representatives put the… Read more »

Nation Urges FG & FF To Quit This Ross And Rachel Bullshit

HAVING endured nearly a century of ‘will-they, won’t-they’, the Irish public have come forward and pleaded with Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil to end this “Mulder & Scully, Sam & Diane, Ross & Rachel” shite and just get together, for once and for all. The urgent plea comes amid murmurings of another General Election, possibly before… Read more »

Government To Return Medical Cards In Exchange For Votes

The HSE will now review the process which saw discretionary medical cards revoked from a number of patients with serious illnesses but many have accused the Government of engaging in a cynical political ploy. A Government insider revealed that the updated process may well involve seriously ill citizens give the majority coalition partner, Fine Gael,… Read more »