Coalition Concerned Introduction Of 30% Tax Band Might Inadvertently Help Sinn Féin Voters

IN A MOVE the coalition would describe as reckless, naive, populist and downright foolish if Sinn Féin proposed it, the government is to explore introducing a third income tax band at 30% in an effort to alleviate cost of living pressures.

While many members of the public would welcome such a move detailed in the Department of Finance’s Tax Strategy Group papers, which could see those earning between €36,800 and €41,800 potentially taking home an extra €1000 a year, government TDs want some assurances from their Minister for Finance.

“This measure is designed precisely to benefit existing Fine Gael voters which is great but I’d want more information on who exactly this will help. I’d be a disaster to find out a bunch of Sinn Féin heads are using it to splurge on cemtex or worse, avocado on toast,” shared one anonymous Fine Gael TD.

“I got into government to help real people, not brainwashed Sinn Féin heads. What’ll they do with the money, send it back to Cuba or something?” argued one Fianna Fáil TD,

Amendments from Fine Gael TDs to the proposals include raising the 30% band for only those earning over €150k, linking qualifying for the tax band to having golf club membership and requiring a pledge to vote Fine Gael in order to avail of it.

“This isn’t why I signed the Devil’s pact with Fianna Fáil, just for us to try and election vote bribe loony lefties,” added another Fine TD, who was then put at ease by his party leader.

“Yes, it’s hard to stomach but just remember that extra €1,000 could potentially go straight from a taxpayer into the bank account of their landlords,” reasoned Tánaiste Leo Varadkar, all but securing 100% support for the budget proposals.

Meanwhile, not a single TD had an issue with cutting income tax so that the State was further reliant on a handful of multi-national firms’ corporation tax.