Tag: fianna fail

Micheál Martin Dons Oculus For 3-Day Virtual Visit To US

“ONCE I put this thing on, I don’t want to hear from anyone until Friday, OK? As far as you’re concerned, I’m in Washington” said Taoiseach Micheál Martin today, as he lowered his virtual reality Oculus headset over his eyes and got ready for his 3-day ‘virtual trip’ to Washington DC for St. Patrick’s Day…. Read more »

Fire Brigade Called After Donnelly Gets Head Stuck In Dáil Railings

FRESH from the Taoiseach revealing he only learned about the recent, probably fairly inconsequential collapse of the country’s contact tracing system via an Irish Times article, today has brought yet another embarrassing incident for the hapless three-party government. “Eh, sorry lads,” shared a sheepish Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly to firemen arriving at the scene… Read more »

“You Can Fucking Keep It”: Martin Dramatically Hands Taoiseach Role Back To Varadkar

THE government’s ‘revolving Taoiseach’ arrangement has spun its first revolution, with Micheál Martin now ‘more than willing’ to hand it back over to Leo Varadkar, after a tumultuous few months in power which has averaged a damaging cock up every six minutes. “I honestly didn’t think he’d last this long” smirked Varadkar, reading an email… Read more »