WITH Fianna Fáil TD Barry Cowen taking to the Dáil to not answer any questions on his drink driving ban, or on claiming the full €7,000 plus travel expenses for the three months he was banned as a driver, the Irish public could be forgiven for thinking CERN scientists had finally cracked time travel and… Read more »
FRESH from watching what was once thought to be an extinct ritual; a Fianna Fáil minister apologising in the Dáil for omitting information someone running for office should have made public, the party has announced the dispatching of developers around the country to begin a huge construction project. Much of the nation’s parish pumps were… Read more »
FIANNA FÁIL and Fine Gael have taken to the media to outline for the Irish public the horrifying prospect of something called a ‘general election’ if the parties, along with the Greens, fail to ratify the potential coalition’s programme for government. Questions of Seanad appointees, electing a Taoiseach and constitutional crisis aside, the two parties… Read more »
“IT’S not like I go out every election and say, ‘yeah okay I’m going to vote for Fianna Fáil, what a genuis idea’ but somehow that’s where my pen goes every time, it’s a fucking sickness”. The words of one of the many tortured souls in attendance at this evening’s FFVA meeting. Some might think… Read more »
IRISH VOTERS are taking no precautions after learning that Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael are shaking hands and therefore increasing the risk of harm to the public through the rapid spread of potential agreements in policies. While some have told the Irish public not to panic needlessly, urging them to wait until a formal agreement… Read more »
WITH all the elegance and grace of a paraplegic sloth on quaaludes, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar awoke from his post election slumber to tear down the door of the electorate’s consciousness in the hopes of forming some kind of government that no one particularly wants. “Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in. Not by the… Read more »
FIANNA FAIL leader Michael Martin has urged party members to ‘wait until they’re in power before acting the bollocks’ following revelations that some TDs were illegally voting on behalf of their absent colleagues. Mr Martin asked Timmy Dooley and Niall Collins to step down from their frontbench positions yesterday afternoon after Collins admitted to voting on behalf of Dooley… Read more »
STRUGGLING to keep abreast of all the twist and turns in Ireland’s latest political debacle, the Nation has confessed to being no closer to knowing what politicians think they are doing exactly, WWN can confirm. “We fucking give up,” the Nation confirmed after admitting it had abandoned all hope of discovering some semblance of logic… Read more »
HOW has it come to this? The usual bullshit. Why has it come to this? The usual bullshit. How much longer will this go on for? Be fucked if we know. Among the many imponderables Irish politics has volleyed in the direction of the Irish public this past week sits an answer, somewhere, presumably. However,… Read more »
A NEW opinion poll has found that Irish politicians are a bunch of self-serving pricks as the country faces a possible Christmas election amid the continued controversy over an email sent to Tánaiste Frances Fitzgerald concerning garda whistleblower Maurice McCabe. The poll, carried out by WWN, showed that the majority of the country believed their local Dáil representatives put the… Read more »