FF/FG Describe Terrifying Scenario In Which Public Get To Vote Again If Coalition Isn’t Formed

FIANNA FÁIL and Fine Gael have taken to the media to outline for the Irish public the horrifying prospect of something called a ‘general election’ if the parties, along with the Greens, fail to ratify the potential coalition’s programme for government.

Questions of Seanad appointees, electing a Taoiseach and constitutional crisis aside, the two parties were at pains to explain to a frankly enthusiastic Irish public that the tyranny of another election is a grave possibility.

“We don’t want to alarm the public however, if this programme for government fails they could face the unspeakable terror of voting again, but now with the additional knowledge, perspective and context that comes with four months of living in a life altering pandemic that will effect society and the economy for generations,” explained the parties, worried that with such information at hand, the public may go and do something stupid like vote for non Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael candidates as 57% of them did in February.

Raising the frankly ominous prospect of the shadow of a second democratic election in the same year enveloping all before it, enfranchising people and invigorating their passion for civil society, the parties’ ashen faced warnings to the public have left many people hopeful.

However, not all are failing to heed Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael’s stark warnings.

“Woah there, hold your feckin’ horses we can’t let this nightmare scenario happen,” countered Sean Richards, the only person in Ireland to actually claim ‘this is exactly what I voted for’ in the election; a Fine Gael/Fianna Fáil/Greens coalition formation pursuing an austerity agenda in the wake of the onrush of an unforeseen global pandemic.