THE MOST compelling and dramatic episode in recent human history requires a rare acting gravitas that is deeply in tune with celebrity feuding, or at least this is how Netflix executives view things as the streaming giant greenlit a Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie 60-episode drama series detailing the explosive Colleen Rooney/Rebekah Vardy saga in all its glory.
“While different circumstances, there is no other pairing that could possibly live up to embodying and acting out this feud,” explained Netflix head, Ted Sanderos, as he announced the filming of the historical Wag War IX drama, based on the tales of how Colleen Rooney snared the ‘close friend’ who was allegedly leaking stories about her to the press, “there was no other way to fit all the drama and new twists, such as recent libel action taken by Vardy, but to commission a 90-minute long, 60-episode first series”.
Directed and written by the minds behind the Snatch Game episodes of Ru Paul’s Drag Race, all Jerry Springer Show brawls and that ‘You won Jane. Enjoy the money’ episode of Come Dine With Me, ‘It’s… Colleen vs Rebekah’ has the largest budget of any Netflix original series due to the acting talent on board.
CGI de-aging technology, like that used in The Irishman movie, will be needlessly and expensively used on Jolie and Aniston with a further $30 million spent on audio generated technology to ‘scouse-ify’ Aniston’s accent for the role of Rooney.
“We’ll record a bag of hammers and mash potato on a spin cycle in the washing machine to replicate Wayne’s accent too” Sanderos explained.
‘It’s… Colleen vs Rebekah’ hits the streaming giant service January next year.