Tag: media

Tabloids Calling Alleged Peadophile A ‘Glamorous Influencer’ For Some Reason

TABLOID media and online sites are being gifted dictionaries in record numbers after they insisted on identifying an alleged paedophile as a ‘glamourous heiress and influencer’ in a clear yet understandable error, WWN can reveal. The high profile case in Australia in which the accused, Savannah Daisley, is facing allegations of aggravated sexual intercourse with… Read more »

Ukraine War Entering That Drawn-Out, Barely Newsworthy Phase

IT has been explained to Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy that the plight of his nation ‘couldn’t have been expected’ to still be front-page news after three months of coverage, adding that people ‘don’t really like when these things have no end in sight’. Factors contributing to Ukraine’s demotion down the ranks of newsworthy items include:… Read more »

If You Read One Thing Today Don’t Make It This, It’s Not My Finest Work & I Was Tight For Time

BELIEVE ME I wish this article was ‘it’ but the day completely got away from me so this definitely isn’t the one thing you need to read today. Honestly, I had every intention of writing something relevant, shocking, zeitgeisty say like ‘Why The Movie Clueless Forms The Bedrock Of Millennials’ Desire For Doomed Romance’ or… Read more »

Squidgy Smug Faced Arse Pile Makes TV Return

REPEATING claims he’s being censored by the media on yet another internationally syndicated talk show brandishing his name, squidgy smug faced arse pile, Piers Morgan, makes his 47th return to television, WWN reports. “They’re tried to silence me but now I’m back!” Morgan stated incorrectly, forgetting a litany of similar failed television roles he has… Read more »

Zuckerberg Retreats To Metaverse Amid $230bn Stock Plunge

SENIOR executives at Facebook parent company Meta have expressed their worry after struggling to contact and track down CEO Mark Zuckerberg after Meta lost $230bn in value yesterday. “Mark! Mark! Are you in here?” one exasperated Meta executive screamed in full VR head gear, believing a rudderless Zuckerberg has retreated, indefinitely, to the Metaverse as… Read more »