Nation Advised To Bunker Down As Storm Keating Approaches

HOPES that a media flurry surrounding Ronan Keating’s wife Storm would not impact Ireland have been dashed today, as Met Éireann announced that the nation can expect months, if not years of news coverage.

Storm Keating originated in Australia and has been localised there with her husband Ronan since 2015, without much impact on Ireland other than the occasional mention in a tabloid here and there – ‘nothing to to be concerned about’, according to pop culture climatologists.

However, recent weeks have shown a day-on-day increase in the media’s interest in Storm Keating, prompting many to believe that we may be in for an absolute hurricane of pointless ‘what-she-had-for-breakfast’ clickbait articles that could overwhelm the nation and result in a catastrophic distraction from other, more important stories.

“This has the potential to make Hurricane Vogue Williams look like Tropical Storm Lotti Ryan,” said one expert we spoke to.

“If the media really get swept up in their love for this one particular celebrity, then it will have very damaging effects on the coverage of other women. We can expect stories on what Storm wore to the gym, what she and Ronan got up to at the weekend, their house, their car, dog, kids, an interview by Niamh Horan, the lot. Best of luck to any other cause that attempts to get a few inches in the newspaper, they won’t have a hope”.

Insiders went on to state that Storm, who seems like a lovely woman by all accounts, will dominate the Irish media for the foreseeable future until such a time as editors get bored by her, or some journalist with a grudge decides it’s time to take her down a notch or two.