Tag: weather

Sydney Sent Irish Weather Conditions In Major Weather Mix Up

THE INTERNATIONAL Meteorological Authority has been embroiled in a scandal following a ‘systems failure’ which led to areas in and around Sydney, Australia being subjected to weather conditions reserved and earmarked for Ireland. The IMA, an international weather body put in charge of the world’s weather after the end of the second world war, has… Read more »

Local Council Now Salting And Vinegaring Roads

WATERFORD County Council has unveiled a brand-new fleet of trucks which will now not only salt the county’s roads, but also vinegar them too in a new road safety measure, WWN can confirm. The updated gritters will carry two loads of both equal measures of salt and vinegar and have advised road users to wear… Read more »

Weather: Temperatures To Slut Drop This Weekend

MET ÉIREANN has given a nationwide ‘slut drop’ warning with temperatures plummeting so much they will touch their arse off the ground before sensually rising back up early next week in a seducing manner. “We expect sleet and icy conditions as the weather sticks out its booty and pouts, cocking that sweet ass out, even… Read more »

Confused Spanish Urged Not To Snort Snow

SPANISH officials launched a nationwide campaign today urging people to not attempt to snort the white substance landing on the ground as it is in fact snow, and not copious amounts of cocaine as initially thought. Thousands of Spaniards flooded hospitals with what doctors are calling ‘brain freeze symptoms’ after ingesting large quantities of frozen… Read more »

Met Éireann Issue Colder Than A Polar Bear’s Mickey Warning

IN AN attempt to correctly convey to the Irish public the imminent plunge to temperatures as low as minus 7 degrees in parts of the country, Met Éireann has issued a rare ‘colder than a polar bear’s mickey’ warning. “Look it, we could be all ‘Sudden Stratospheric Warming’ but that’s just boring weather nerd talk… Read more »

Anti-Immigration Campaigners To Protest Indian Summer

LIVID with the sudden arrival of what meteorologists are calling an ‘Indian Summer’, hundreds of far right leaning campaigners have called for a protest to take place outside the GPO at 3pm today, calling on the Department of Education to intervene against the ‘unwanted weather system’. “Irish Summers for the Irish only,” insisted protest organizer… Read more »