SPEAKING recently in an interview which presumably made no mention of tribunal findings or allegations of corruption, Bertie Ahern refused to rule of running for president in 2025 sparking concern for his mental faculties and ability to read the room. So, who would vote for instead of him?
“SORRY pal, your names not on the list,” said one FF think-in bouncer to Taoiseach and maybe-soon-to-be ex-Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin, as questions about his future continued to swirl. With it being reported across the media that a significant number of party TDs are moving against Martin, the Cork man, peering in from the… Read more »
A LEAKED itinerary for the upcoming two-day Fianna Fáil ‘think-in’ has shown that almost the entire first day has been set aside for griping about their coalition partners Fine Gael, with the remaining 24 hours divided up thusly: – The morning of day two will feature a one hour reminiscence on how great the old… Read more »
MINISTER for Health Stephen Donnelly confirmed he is to continue to do himself no favours by retaining his tried and mistrusted policy of just saying whatever pops into his head, making no allowances for the fact he might be on national radio or TV when he doing so. The news comes after Donnelly mentioned his… Read more »
EXCLUSIVE reports in the Irish Times reveal that the Minister for Health launched an analysis of his department’s Twitter account owing to the fact it made few references to him. Taking up the slack on behalf of the Department of Health who has failed to fulfill the emotional needs of its minister, WWN has crafted… Read more »
AHEAD of his St. Patrick Day’s Zoom call audience with US President Joe Biden, Taoiseach Micheál Martin has been told by the Irish public to ask if there’s any spare vaccines going. “Guilt him by making up a few spare Biden cousins, say they’re riddled with the Covid, or pull the Oliver Twist routine, whatever… Read more »
“ONCE I put this thing on, I don’t want to hear from anyone until Friday, OK? As far as you’re concerned, I’m in Washington” said Taoiseach Micheál Martin today, as he lowered his virtual reality Oculus headset over his eyes and got ready for his 3-day ‘virtual trip’ to Washington DC for St. Patrick’s Day…. Read more »
ANNOUNCING his intention to ask a task force to look into the possibilities pertaining to the practicalities of the procurement of extra vaccines supplies outside of the existing EU supply deal, a frankly disappointed Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly hoped the rest of the country could get their heads out of their asses and help… Read more »
CHILDREN ranging in age from 16 to 30 have been taken into protective custody by the national child and family agency Tusla after troubling reports that they have been showing early signs of centrist politics with strong Christian tendencies, WWN can report. “We’ve had Ógra Fianna Fáil on our radar for some time, and we… Read more »
FRESH from the Taoiseach revealing he only learned about the recent, probably fairly inconsequential collapse of the country’s contact tracing system via an Irish Times article, today has brought yet another embarrassing incident for the hapless three-party government. “Eh, sorry lads,” shared a sheepish Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly to firemen arriving at the scene… Read more »