PLEDGING to save the country and the government from being plunged into further crisis and ignominy, Tánaiste Leo Varadkar has confirmed he will henceforth only use a burner phone ‘like them drug dealer lads in The Wire or old school Fianna Fáil TDs’. Confirming it’s a case of lesson learned, Varadkar has pledged to throw… Read more »
LEO Varadkar will today continue to simmer on a low-heat following accusations that he leaked government documents to the National Association Of General Practitioners, with opposition parties being granted just 10 minutes to question him. “You can’t grill a politician in ten minutes, so the best we’re hoping for is to sear him a little… Read more »
OUTGOING FINANCE minister Paschal Donohoe licked his finger and raised it in the sky to appraise the direction of the oncoming wind, his eyes sharpening he confirmed to himself “yup, this mother is about to burn the fuck down”. Unprecedented remarks from the normally mild mannered Dublin TD but these are unprecedented times and Donohoe… Read more »
FIANNA FÁIL and Fine Gael have taken to the media to outline for the Irish public the horrifying prospect of something called a ‘general election’ if the parties, along with the Greens, fail to ratify the potential coalition’s programme for government. Questions of Seanad appointees, electing a Taoiseach and constitutional crisis aside, the two parties… Read more »
WITH the new three-party coalition paving the way for Micheál Martin to become Ireland’s next Taoiseach, current Taoiseach Leo Varadkar’s days of Taoiseaching are coming to a close. Much of Varadkar’s final months as Taoiseach have been defined by his addresses to the nation during the Covid-19 pandemic outbreak, famed for the occasional vague hint… Read more »
THE UNPRECEDENTED reality of the old rival civil war parties of Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil coming together in coalition with the Green Party has led to a sceptical Irish public giving it a week before it all kicks off and resembles a 4am fight in the queue for a kebab in Temple Bar. Relationship… Read more »
AMENDMENTS to emergency Covid-19 payments aimed at solving inefficiencies such as a one-shift-a-week part time worker receiving €350 a week payments have been welcomed by many but some are criticising ancillary measures put in place by the Fine Gael government. Hinges flew off the door on the rented home of one young man, Robert Dolgan… Read more »
SOFTWARE ENGINEERS have apologised for a glitch in the Taoiseach’s operating system which had seen him mistakenly parrot ‘we’re all in this together’ in the face of the ongoing hardship caused by the Covid-19 payment. “That explains all the violent twitching and spasming he was doing any time he first announced the increased payments, it… Read more »
WITH a programme for government set to be discussed by Fianna Fáil, Fine Gael and the Green Party on Thursday, WWN has gained unprecedented access to potential future policies, ‘red lines’ and inter-party disagreements. Just what will eco-friendly austerity and brown hemp envelopes involve? Ryan, trying to avoid a repeat of 2008 when The Green… Read more »
AS THE leaders of Fine Gael, Fianna Fáil and the Green Party meet today to discuss potentially forming a three-party government, the smallest of the three parties, the Green Party, have named their price. “It’s the obvious solution,” confirmed friend of wolves and Green Party leader, Eamon Ryan, as he discussed his party’s ‘red lines’… Read more »