Tag: education

School Newsletter Email Just Another Request For Money

PARENTS of pupils in one Waterford NS have taken to diverting to a junk folder or just ignoring any mails sent out by the school, as they’re invariably just another request for money or free labour. St. Morticia of The Weeping Elbow Primary School adopted the new email system in late 2018, after legislation was passed by… Read more »

God Banned From Hanging Around Schools

A HIGH Court ruling has implemented a ban on the creator of the universe, God, after a series of public complaints claimed the 4.5 billion-year-old was loitering around the majority of schools in the country. In the ruling this morning, Judge Peter Kelly ordered the Almighty to stay at least 1,000 meters away from all primary and… Read more »

School Career Guidance Teachers Asked What They Do Exactly

SCRAMBLING to justify their existence, career guidance teachers throughout the country have responded to questions about the level of work that goes into their job by asking ‘what’s something you’d really like to do?’ in a softly spoken and engaging voice. “Look, I get it, we’re an easy target but we’re with students every step… Read more »

UCD Student Convinced He’ll Pass Exams If He Just Doesn’t Sleep For Next 4 Days

THERE were scenes of calm and tranquility in the UCD library earlier today as second year Agriculture Science student Michael O’Hennan seemingly discovered an easy solution to all his exam worries and woes. Faced with a tough work load, intimidating study schedule and unforgiving exam schedule, O’Hennan had confessed previously to friends and college peers… Read more »