AWARE that such excuse making could gain him a reputation as a workshy layabout and all round Negative Nellie, local tent-dwelling student Fionn Dalton remains unable to shake the feeling that perhaps his focus at college would be greatly enhanced had he a room in a house or apartment to call his own. “I’m at… Read more »
GUARDING this year’s Junior Cert results like they were the third secret of Fatima, Minister for Education Norma Foley has confirmed that students will receive results on the 23rd of November but not before answering these riddles three. “You have to fill in your answer in person in pencil only on the sheet we provide,… Read more »
AS A NEW academic year draws close, WWN sought out the extensive knowledge of former college graduates who were ready and willing to shares their wisdom for anyone beginning their third level education: Don’t. It only takes 4 years of a degree, two years of a masters, three years in a low paid entry level… Read more »
WORRIED about how your kids will react to traveling to school on a school bus for the first time? Relax! Minister for Education Norma Foley has helpfully announced that due to difficulties in procuring buses and drivers, you’ll be dropping your kids off by yourself! Phew! Thankfully, parents have been given little to no notice… Read more »
A GROUP of ex-Mossad agents and former US Navy Seals faced their toughest test yet when starting their new job at Clarks shoe shop at the height of the back to school rush. Thousands of stressed parents trying to get a last minute purchase of school shoes have descended on outlets nationwide in recent days,… Read more »
AS a shortage of affordable student accommodation takes the government by surprise in much the same way absolutely everything else does, homeowners have been urged to rent rooms to students while offering them a number of other services students might be interested in. The Department of Further Education clarified that while provision of accommodation for… Read more »
CUTTING out the middle man entirely, a number of Irish third level institutions are upping sticks and moving to China in a bid to properly chase international investment. “We’ve been trying to wedge hundreds of highly lucrative international-fee paying Chinese students into lecture halls and on campus accommodation, but then it was Lorna in the… Read more »
MINISTER for Accusing Schools Of Failing To Engage With Her Only To Roll Back That Claim When It’s Proven False, Josepha Madigan, has confirmed her department has a perfect record on supporting children with additional needs so don’t accuse her of being at fault for 106 students not having school places. “For decades parents have… Read more »
THE end-of-school bell in the majority of Irish primary schools is to be replaced by a recording of Bruce Buffer delivering his signature ‘let’s get ready to rumble’ catchphrase, to let parents on pick-up duty know that it’s time to start really busting some heads. “It’s only fair that all parents know that they’re engaged… Read more »
UNDERVALUED miracle-working teachers who are somehow also workshy ungrateful overpaid moaners were kept behind for detention yesterday due to their heckling of Norma Foley’s speech at the annual INTO congress, WWN can reveal. “Dún do bhéal gach duine, do ye pups honestly think heckling will get Paschal to loosen the purse strings? I want 100… Read more »