DESPITE entertainment for children making huge strides in recent decades, Irish teachers have confirmed ferrying kids into a bus for drive up to a church to see the disembodied decaying head of a saint is still the best school tour Ireland has to offer. “I don’t even look at Oliver Plunkett’s head anymore, I just… Read more »
HAVING decided that keeping schools safe from Covid-19 is too much hassle, the government has advised parents to form a WhatsApp group where they can keep in touch with each other and find out why half their kid’s class wasn’t at their desks today. “We were going to keep up the whole ‘close contacts’, ’14… Read more »
THE DEPARTMENT of Education is to launch an internal investigation after this year’s Leaving Cert results tested positive for steroids. The news comes after the number of students receiving 625 doubled with experts suggesting LC results were more jacked up than the love child of The Rock and Arnold Schwarzenegger. “LC results have all the… Read more »
WITH the national newspapers full of young Leaving Cert students gloating about their results, WWN has taken the time, and a large chunk of its financial resources, to interview past pupils who didn’t make the grade but went on to succeed regardless. Michael Fassbender “As long as you’ve got a huge throbbing member, the world… Read more »
WITH THE Irish Independent revealing that college students living away from home are facing living costs of €14,000 for the academic year, WWN is here to help students identify the best organs to sell to manage that. It would be irresponsible of WWN to suggest every student set up at Onlyfans as by in large… Read more »
THE government has pleaded with the Association Of Secondary Teachers Ireland to cool it with their concerns surrounding unvaccinated teachers returning to work in September, as they’re ‘so close’ to having everyone satisfied. “Granted, our plan doesn’t include teachers in the early or indeed late stages of pregnancy who aren’t eligible for a vaccine, but… Read more »
LEAVING Cert holder Aaron Walkenson has somehow managed to navigate through another day without having to calculate the angles of a triangle, making the years he spent sweating about formulas and equations seem quite pointless indeed. “I’ll be honest, I’m not out here trying to avoid trigonometry” stated Walkenson, who did his Leaving Cert 20… Read more »
IN A totally rad Tiktok video Minister for Increasingly High Cost of Education Simon Harris confirmed most third level student could return in-person to college in September as well as €14k per academic year accommodation in the case of some UCD students. Si-Dog confirmed the news with an epic duet and stitch infused TikTok vid… Read more »
LONG thought to be indistinguishable, here’s your essential guide to spotting if you thought you had innocently parted with cash only to realise you had erroneously sent your child to a fee paying school. Here’s how to discern if you’ve sent your child to a private school or a cult: Is the school/cult institution instilling… Read more »
‘Flourish’, the relationship and sex education programme developed for junior infants to sixth class age group by the Irish Bishops’ Conference is to describe sex and puberty as a ‘gift from God’ to the 90% of schools still under the auspices of the Catholic Church. But what exactly will the Catholic Church, famed for its… Read more »