PARENTS of pupils in one Waterford NS have taken to diverting to a junk folder or just ignoring any mails sent out by the school, as they’re invariably just another request for money or free labour. St. Morticia of The Weeping Elbow Primary School adopted the new email system in late 2018, after legislation was passed by… Read more »
AS STUDENTS are faced yet again with the prospect of the continued rise in cost of free education in Ireland, many will be scrambling around in search of accommodation they can’t afford. Saddened by the reality of third level education in Ireland, WWN has sought to provide students with alternative ways of paying for accommodation… Read more »
NEW data released by search engine Google and to a lesser extent search engine Bing have revealed that the most searched for terms in Ireland all revolve around whether or not we as a nation are entitled to compensation arising from our time in school. With queries ranging from ‘denied adequate career advice’ to ‘routinely… Read more »
A NEW history module is to be added to the Junior secondary school cycle aimed at showing teenagers what it was like to live during the dark ages of technology between 1980 and 1999, including lessons on how to salvage cassette tapes that got mangled in a walkman, and how to ensure someone doesn’t tape soaps… Read more »
WATERFORD harridan Deirdre Malley has spent the morning in floods of tears as she attempted to come to terms with her son’s decision to send his kids to a local Educate Together, instead of a “normal Catholic national school”. Malley, 78, had managed to hold it together with the absolute minimum amount of passive aggressiveness… Read more »
LOCAL man Francis Milton has come out against the apparent simplicity of the Leaving Certificate examinations, stating that back in his day the exam was a real pressure cooker that would reduce even the toughest of students to a blubbering mess ‘but by God, they toughened themselves up and did it’. Milton, 40, made the… Read more »
A HIGH Court ruling has implemented a ban on the creator of the universe, God, after a series of public complaints claimed the 4.5 billion-year-old was loitering around the majority of schools in the country. In the ruling this morning, Judge Peter Kelly ordered the Almighty to stay at least 1,000 meters away from all primary and… Read more »
SCRAMBLING to justify their existence, career guidance teachers throughout the country have responded to questions about the level of work that goes into their job by asking ‘what’s something you’d really like to do?’ in a softly spoken and engaging voice. “Look, I get it, we’re an easy target but we’re with students every step… Read more »
Maureen Downey, a mother-of-three, from Clonmel in Tipperary is reportedly devastated after receiving the grade for an essay she worked incredibly hard on for a number of evenings on behalf of her lazy and disinterested son Conor. “Oh I’ll be having words with that Mr. Hughes I’m telling you now,” Maureen shouted at Conor as… Read more »
THE Minister for education and skills, Ruairi Quinn, has announced at a press conference today that the German language will become mandatory for both Junior and leaving certificates from next year. Mr. Quinn unveiled the €2bn programme – part funded by the EU – at the Shelbourne hotel earlier this morning. The ‘Bildung Macht Frei’ or ‘Education will make… Read more »