THE end-of-school bell in the majority of Irish primary schools is to be replaced by a recording of Bruce Buffer delivering his signature ‘let’s get ready to rumble’ catchphrase, to let parents on pick-up duty know that it’s time to start really busting some heads. “It’s only fair that all parents know that they’re engaged… Read more »
UNDERVALUED miracle-working teachers who are somehow also workshy ungrateful overpaid moaners were kept behind for detention yesterday due to their heckling of Norma Foley’s speech at the annual INTO congress, WWN can reveal. “Dún do bhéal gach duine, do ye pups honestly think heckling will get Paschal to loosen the purse strings? I want 100… Read more »
“UPON REFLECTION,” muffled arts degree holder Ronan Flannon through his top heavy leprechaun outfit he has been wearing for the last two weeks while trying to attract the attention of Temple Bar tourists, “maybe my ball ache of an auld lad right”. “No, it’s not undignified at all and anyone sneering can feck off –… Read more »
MINISTER for Education Norma Foley was at pains to stress how much she has appreciated the contributions, input and testimonies made by Leaving Cert students who called for a hybrid model, stating “the Dept. of Education’s eyes, ears and hearts were much with the students and we fully engaged with them and other stakeholders before… Read more »
FOR OUTSTANDING contributions to innovation and research in the field of absentmindedly stabbing his pencil with a compass out of sheer boredom, 13-year-old Kevin Malally is walking home with the BT Young Scientist Award 2022. “Kevin has really shown us that there is still new and refreshing ways to poke holes in your pencil case… Read more »
FRESH from suggesting teachers should open windows ‘at a lower level’ if their classrooms are cold, Minister for Education Norma Foley has offered more nuggets of wisdom in the fight against Covid in Covid-free Irish schools. While failing to realise that there’s no ‘if’ to being cold in an Irish classroom, even when temperatures outside… Read more »
AS schools look set to re-open despite ever-higher Covid cases and little to no additional measures to ensure classroom safety, principals around the country are cherry-picking the most promising students to head their classes when teachers inevitably have to drop out and isolate. “We used to do this all the time in the 80s, the… Read more »
RELIEVED parents, education professionals and experts in air filtration have breathed a collective sigh of relief as the Department of Education are on the verge of rubber stamping the procurement of €62mn worth of Hepa filters for schools. Despite the good news, some naysayers have expressed concern over the fact the contract for has been… Read more »
“I UNDERSTAND it’s a major inconvenience to parents, it’s short notice and it’s yet another interruption to childrens’ education but c’mon let’s not ignore the Covid-shaped elephant in the room anywhere,” began new Minister for Education Barra, taking decisive action in attempt to undo incomprehensible aspects of Covid strategy pursued in recent months in the… Read more »
PLASTIC see-through balls for the country’s half a million school going children are set to become the government’s latest guideline in the battle against Covid, with the introduction of self-containment balls expected to be rolled out in the new year. Despite zero stockists of the new line of protection, and a price tag of 100… Read more »