Tag: education

Teacher Can’t Wait To Use ‘Calculated Grades’ To Fuck Over Prick Student He Hates

THE FORMAL ANNOUNCEMENT that students of this year’s Leaving Cert will receive ‘calculated grades’ or sit exams at a later date has been welcomed by all teachers whose favourite phrase is ‘you’ll amount to nothing’, WWN can confirm. While the ongoing global pandemic has created an endless variety of complex problems that have unbelievably easy… Read more »

All The Emergency Leaving Cert Plans In Full

UNCERTAINTY surrounding the Leaving Cert examinations remains, making an already stressful time for students and their parents even harder. WWN has used a Freedom of Information request to obtain all alternative proposals to traditional Leaving Cert exams currently under consideration by Minister for Education Joe McHugh in light of Covid-19, the contents of which should… Read more »

Junior Cert Student Didn’t Give A Fuck To Begin With

EVERYTHING appears to have worked out nicely for Waterford Junior cert student Michael Hallington, who entered 2020 not giving a fiddler’s about the examinations and who now looks set to coast through a nice easy summer of doing fuck all. Hallington is among thousands of young teenagers who will receive ‘certificates of completion’ instead of… Read more »

“Go Rev Matt Agat” Students Thank Government For Full Marks In Irish Oral Exams

THE DEPARTMENT of Education has this morning announced that Irish junior and leaving cert oral exams are to be cancelled with students receiving full marks in light of the unfolding Covid-19 threat, the move was greeted by wild celebrations from students and a big “you lucky little shits” from everyone else. “Go-rev-your-Ma’s-guts,” Irish students said… Read more »

Cost Of Giving Your Kids Annoying D4 Accents Increases

WITH prices rising by as much as €413 per pupil per year at some fee-paying schools it is becoming increasingly expensive for parents to provide their children with the chance to develop a grating pseudo-American D4 accent, WWN can reveal. ‘Growing demand’ for private education is being used by private schools as the reason for… Read more »

Irish Sex Education Overhaul Revealed

IN THE WAKE of a targeted disinformation campaign carried out by Irish conservative groups aimed scaremongering and damaging confidence in the overhaul and modernising of Ireland’s sex education curriculum, the Department of Education has published the exact details of just what your children will be taught in school. The National Council for Curriculum and Assessment… Read more »

School Newsletter Email Just Another Request For Money

PARENTS of pupils in one Waterford NS have taken to diverting to a junk folder or just ignoring any mails sent out by the school, as they’re invariably just another request for money or free labour. St. Morticia of The Weeping Elbow Primary School adopted the new email system in late 2018, after legislation was passed by… Read more »