Tag: education

Leaving Cert Points Test Positive For Steroids

THE DEPARTMENT of Education is to launch an internal investigation after this year’s Leaving Cert results tested positive for steroids. The news comes after the number of students receiving 625 doubled with experts suggesting LC results were more jacked up than the love child of The Rock and Arnold Schwarzenegger. “LC results have all the… Read more »

Unvaccinated Pregnant Teachers Told To Wing It, Be Grand

THE government has pleaded with the Association Of Secondary Teachers Ireland to cool it with their concerns surrounding unvaccinated teachers returning to work in September, as they’re ‘so close’ to having everyone satisfied. “Granted, our plan doesn’t include teachers in the early or indeed late stages of pregnancy who aren’t eligible for a vaccine, but… Read more »

350,000 Germ Factories Return To School

AS MANY AS 350,000 snot dripping, pants soiling, cough-while-not-covering-mouths, dirty handed children have made their return to school after the initial return to in-person began two weeks ago. Equal parts delighted and horrified to be returning to their profession in an environment more conducive to learning, teachers stoically accepted the fact 350,000 germ factories needed… Read more »