Tag: education

Teachers To Spend First Week Back Correcting Mad Shit Parents Were Teaching Their Kids

STILL adjusting to teaching in a location that isn’t within touching distance of a wine-filled fridge at home, the nation’s teachers return to in-person teaching has been hampered by the effect of off-the-cuff, make-it-up-as-you-go-along homeschooling done by parents. “Before we closed down before Christmas we had just started Irish history, do you know how long… Read more »

“Okay, The Government Needs To Cancel The Leaving Cert ASAP As I Haven’t Done A Fucking Tap”

IN AN exclusive interview, Waterford student Daniel Carey shared his experience of foolishly expecting the Department of Education to abandon plans on staging in-person exams during an academic year full of disruption and an ongoing global pandemic. “Funny story, so I didn’t bother studying, and now I’m kind of worried I’ll actually have to sit… Read more »

“Conas Atá Tú Me Bollix” Confirms Mother Who Regrets Sending Kids To Gaelscoil

A COUNTY Waterford mother with no understanding of the Irish language has admitted to now regretting sending her two children to a local Gaelscoil, with ongoing home-schooling during lockdown rendering her a useless, redundant parent. “Conas atá tú me bollix!” Darina Kent exclaimed, trying to decipher the latest stream of incomprehensible text delivered via a… Read more »

Nation Breaks Into Nearest School To Escape Covid-19

ARMED with bolt cutters, axes and JCBs which could be good for ramming school gates, the Irish public, in desperate need of keeping safe from out of control Covid-19 cases, is breaking into Ireland’s famously Covid-free schools. A marvel of anti-pandemic technology, Irish primary and secondary schools have been championed by the Department of Education… Read more »