“Back To College, Back To €14k Student Accommodation” Confirms Harris In Class TikTok


IN A totally rad Tiktok video Minister for Increasingly High Cost of Education Simon Harris confirmed most third level student could return in-person to college in September as well as €14k per academic year accommodation in the case of some UCD students.

Si-Dog confirmed the news with an epic duet and stitch infused TikTok vid that made absolutely no mention of any plans to emphasise the need to improve ventilation in indoor learning settings despite the fact Covid-19 is an airborne disease.

“We’re looking into antigen testing. But… installing ventilation systems in lecture halls? Because it’s an airborne disease? And it’s proven to spread in these exact type of settings? Wow, well like students, I guess I learn something new everyday,” confirmed Harris, before trying to send us a series of emojis in real life.

Due to his effortless Cool Uncle routine, Harris’s new announcements have been met with near universal approval by students.

“I can forgive exorbitant rent that impoverishes my own parents as they struggle to pay for it while I work hours I should be able to use to study because I mean, just look at how down with the kids the H-Bomb is,” offered indebted student Cormac O’Neill.

“If he was anymore down with the kids, I’d have to give him a lend of my anti-depressents I use to cope with the fact Ireland is no country for young people,” added O’Neill, looking forward to a return to in-person learning at increasingly corporatised universities.