Best Organs To Sell If You’re Looking To Afford College In Ireland
WITH THE Irish Independent revealing that college students living away from home are facing living costs of €14,000 for the academic year, WWN is here to help students identify the best organs to sell to manage that.
It would be irresponsible of WWN to suggest every student set up at Onlyfans as by in large the Irish are an ugly people and Onlyfans is only an option for the attractive few. Cash for organs remains your best, least worst option.
Appendix
Worthless. The only way you can make any money off this pathetic excuse for an organ is by pretending it’s a kidney and duping some unsuspecting Chinese businessman online.
Alternatively casually goad your mates into betting you €1,000 to cut your appendix out for shits and giggles.
Lungs
Well, a single lung, you’ll need the other one. Well you definitely need both, but with a lung fetching 25k it might be worth it. Note: once sold, cease all physically activity, conserve energy, choose post-grad career which requires zero physical exertion.
Liver
Good news – 50k baby! Bad news, you do need it to continue living. Definitely cut the alcohol out if you sell this bad boy.
Kidneys
God gave you two for a reason, the reason being that if you lived in a country in which successive governments insisted third level education was ‘free’ and rent is ‘reasonable’ you could sell it so you barely get by.
Spleen
Honestly, who knows what this thing does. If it was that important you’d know, right? Easy 10k.
Eyes
14 grand a year, and that’s just living costs. And it’ll only get more expensive. C’mon you’ve seen enough already.
Brain
Well, with the state of Irish third level education and the jobs market awaiting you once you finish it’s not like you’re going to get a chance to use it. 100k.
Sperm + Egg
Ok, not an organ, but if you happened to have access to the sperm and egg from a wealthy family, you could sell them online. Once the resulting child is born that family is financially liable for it and thus the child won’t have to worry about the cost of third level once they finish school. This is the official advice from the government too, and it is technically ‘priceless’. Just a pity you can’t retroactively do this one for yourself.