Tag: business

Nation’s Shirts Go Unworn For Another Month

THROUGH a combination of hugely devastating unemployment, and the noble commitment from those still in jobs to look increasingly unkempt, the nation’s supply of shirts have gone unworn for another month, WWN can confirm. With the large numbers of people working from home content to conduct video conference calls equipped with a 4 month old… Read more »

Essential Frontline Worker Worth €10.10 An Hour, Tops

DESPITE a considerable uptick in appreciation for those working in jobs evidently key to keeping daily life from disintegrating, employers have failed to join in calls for workers constantly praised as ‘frontline heroes too’ to be paid a cent over the minimum wage, WWN can reveal. Long dismissed as ‘low skilled’ jobs ‘beneath’ some people,… Read more »

Massive Boom Expected For ‘Office To Let’ Sign Makers

ALTHOUGH the economic forecast for many sectors is continuing to look increasingly dire, WWN recently spoke to a local sign maker who tells us that he’s about to make ‘the mother of all killings’ designing, constructing, selling and erecting ‘Office To Let’ signs around the country. “Lads, it hasn’t been this busy since 2007 when… Read more »

Ireland Expected More From Millionaire Property Developer

THE nation has updated its status from ‘shocked’ to ‘profoundly disappointed’ this week after videos emerged of one of the country’s favourite multimillionaire property tycoons acting in a disrespectful manner, WWN unfortunately reports. Champion of the people, Johnny Ronan, singlehandedly tarnished decades worth of hard work by property developers who all maintain famously flawless reputations… Read more »

World’s Financial Institutions Unsure Exactly How They’re Going To Make Poorest Pay For All Of This

THE WORLD’S financial institutions, in conjunction with world leaders, have reassured the public that while they don’t know exactly how they’re going to fuck over the poorest in the world, they will certainly do so in a monumentally sociopathic fashion. “Bailouts. Stimulus. Debt repackaging. Whatever is needed – we’re going to act like we walked… Read more »