Tag: business


Greta Thunberg Ditches Climate Crusade After Falling For Bad Ass In Souped-Up Honda

OUTSPOKEN Scandinavian upstart Greta Thunberg has finally realised that there’s more to life than relentlessly campaigning against climate change after striking up a relationship with a 17-year-old boy racer who drives around town in a heavily-modded, petrol-chugging 1998 Honda Civic. Precocious Swede Thunberg proved herself to be a massive pain in the hole for world… Read more »

Government Bring In ‘Culchie Whisperer’ To Solve Beef Dispute

DONNING a weathered flat cap and smearing his rosy red cheeks in coleslaw warpaint, Tom Halley of Hally’s Culchie Solutions was preparing for the biggest day in his career, dispersing Irish beef farmers. Tom had just secured the government contract to be the official ‘Culchie Whisperer’ for Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, Minister for Agriculture Michael Creed and… Read more »

PTSB Treated For PTSD

MANAGEMENT and staff at PTSB branches around the country are to be treated for post-traumatic stress disorder, following a €21 million fine arising out of 42 regulatory breaches surrounding tracker mortgages. Staff at the banks are to receive one-to-one counselling, extra paid days off, and other treatments such as personal masseuses, golf days and free dinners… Read more »

“Payback Time, Fuckers” Irish Public Tell Insurers Accused Of Running Cartel

THE IRISH insurance buying public has called on people not to rush to judgement after learning of the news that the European Commission has opened a formal investigation into Insurance Ireland’s data pooling system which may have made it possible for insurance companies to operate a cartel, illegally ripping off customers in the process. “Payback… Read more »