Thing That Cost €4 Last Week Now Half The Size & Double The Price

BUSINESSES that rely on your custom regret to inform you that the thing you paid €4 for and considered value for money has now double in price and looks suspiciously smaller in scale.

“It doesn’t matter what product or service it is, any increase in costs incurred by businesses, real or imagined, have been passed onto you. Yes, that includes the slice pan in your hand which is clearly just two pieces of bread,” retail experts told shoppers.

A global packaging crisis is being blamed on why everything from chocolate, washing up liquid, chairs, pints, sexual services and readymade meals have shrunk in size while increasing in price.

“You must understand we didn’t reduce the size of the thing you’re buying in order to be deceitful while maximising profit, we just couldn’t find tinfoil trays any larger than that,” explained a leading supermarket as it handed you your 12gram lasagne which costs €9 now.

The sting of inflation continues to be felt in Ireland with no service or utility beyond its reaches, but experts still maintain people can save money if they’re sensible.

“Need the car washed? Keep the windows down and it’s a free shower on someone’s else dime. Cooking dinner in a microwave? Chuck the clothes in while you’re at it to save on using the tumble dryer. Honestly, I can’t believe I have to spell these things out,” said one consumer expert.