Tag: business

Jeff Bezos Still A Wanker, Agrees World

ALTHOUGH the world has admitted that the footage of 90-year-old Star Trek actor William Shatner floating in zero-gravity on board the Blue Origin space flight yesterday was touching, Amazon boss Jeff Bezos ‘needn’t think’ that he’s off the hook for a raft of arsehole behaviour over the last number of years. Thousands tuned in to… Read more »

Panic As Facebook Is Successfully Brought Back Online

THERE has been significant and widespread panic throughout the world as Facebook, WhatsApp and Instagram were successfully brought back online, meaning the brief respite from non-stop division, propelled by a hate-loving algorithms, is over. The outage which saw Facebook offline for 7 hours was initially put down to Mark Zuckerberg finally finding the only successful… Read more »

‘Porn, Underage Drink, Loose Cigarettes, Flick Knives, Hepatitis C’: Waterford Bids A Poignant Farewell To Beloved Local Shop

YET another iconic business in Waterford City closed its doors for the last time yesterday, prompting hundreds if not thousands of locals to come forward and reminisce fondly about the beloved corner shop J. Rattigan & Sons and its inimitable owner, James ‘rat face’ Rattigan. Rattigan, now in his 70s despite looking like a 90-year-old… Read more »

Gardaí To Kidnap-Proof Themselves As They Investigate Quinn Gambling Company

OUT of an abundance of caution Gardaí are to act on a recommendation from the public that they ‘kidnap-proof’ themselves ahead of investigating the Quinn family’s QuinnBet gambling firm. “If you’re squeamish at all about being branded by violent kidnappers, I’d suggest kidnap-proofing alright,” advised someone who has previously read Quinn related news. Gardaí are… Read more »