Irish Workers Make Transfer Bid For Mick Lynch

WITH THE summer transfer window open, there’s plenty of interest in rail union boss Mick Lynch with Irish workers in the market for someone who can advocate for better pay and working conditions on their behalf.

Lynch came to the attention of Irish workers in dire need of a pay increase after skillful displays on British TV, in which he ran rings around politicians and veteran TV journalists while putting in two-foot tackles on worker-hostile businesses that benefited from billions in government supports paying out millions in dividends.

“Get Mick in ’til end of trade union congress season, playing on the offensive could help us stop zero hours gig economy securing further wins against us,” said one Irish worker, who doesn’t care if they have to break the transfer record to get Lynch.

“I can just see him now, saying something mad like maybe frontline healthcare workers should be paid more and that maybe this one off bonus which hasn’t even been paid out yet is a pure distraction bollocks,” added a nurse, forgetting that Irish media outlets wouldn’t be foolish enough to let him near a microphone.

Lynch is also attracting interest from French unions who can promise large scale protests, something Irish workers can’t.

“But Mick can’t you see the sadness in the multi-millionaires eyes?” Sky News host Kay Burley said, during a grueling 4 hour exchange in which she was unable to get Lynch to admit he makes soup broth from the bodies of rail executives.

Meanwhile, as part of an exclusive investigation the Daily Mail can confirm that Mick Lynch is the secret love child of Chairman Mao and Fidel Castro, and even worse he may have Irish heritage.