Subtle Signs The ‘Remote Working Bill’ Favours Employers

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THERE HAS been significant criticism of ‘the Right to Remote Working Bill’ which is to go before the Dáil for a vote soon.

But just what evidence is there that this coalition or its Minister for Enterprise, Trade and Employment Leo Varakdar would put forward legislation which is stacked heavily in favour of businesses over workers?

WWN dived deep into the detail to emerge with these subtle signs that you’ve as much chance at getting your employer to agree to remote working as David in accounting does of getting his wife to agree to a threesome with her sister:

“Reasons for rejecting an employee’s request for remote working include: just saying ‘lol, no’ because they feel like it” – great.

“Employees must wait 26 weeks into taking up a job before requesting remote working” – 26 weeks is the proven length of time it takes employers to break you down and foster a Stockholm Syndrome.

“In the event of being granted permission to work remotely the employee transfers ownership of all working organs to their employer” – right, yeah, not ideal.

“A cheeky wank is not a recognised break from work and cannot be permitted even if taken as a smoke break” – human rights violation numero uno.

“Other reasons for rejecting the request include ‘concerns about internet connectivity’ which rules out remote working in 100% of counties, ‘negative impact on working’ such as the boss missing screaming in your face directly and not over Zoom, ‘concerns about additional costs to employer’ like an additional biro” – these should be no barrier to giving a new generation of office workers a decent work life balance.

“In addition to the 26 weeks requirement, employers have 12 weeks to respond to the request and in order for employees to read the final judgement they must solve a rubik’s cube in under 45 seconds while suspended upside down over Niagra falls” – seems fair.

“If you will feel your employer is violating the provisions laid out in the Remote Working Bill just ask HR, paid directly by your boss, to help you out” – that’ll show ’em.

“If your request is rejected you can appeal to Workers Relation Commission” – wow that doesn’t sound like an overly arduous endeavour which will most certainly be used against you by your employer and label you a ‘trouble maker’.

“Responses to your formal request may come in the form of an employer completely ignoring the email but sending a separate email at 11.35pm requesting a work presentation be completed in the next few hours” – a remote chance of this bill being utterly pointless.

Incidentally, anyone currently working in the DPP can have remote working, hell they can just take the rest of the year off as there’s no pressing cases related to any sitting politician.

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