Tag: britain

British Government To Rename Murders Carried Out By Soldiers As ‘Whoopsy Daisies’

AHEAD of a rumoured decision to prevent future prosecutions of British soldiers by introducing a statute of limitations, the British government is set to reclassify murders carried out by soldiers during the Troubles as ‘whoopsy daisies’. “We work shopped a few terms, but we feel this showcases our staggering indifference to the murder of people… Read more »

Mullet Worst Thing Tony Blair’s Done Since Invasion Of Iraq

RESPONDING to the optical atrocity that is his current haircut, the British public believes Tony Blair has finally done something so repulsive and reprehensible to finally rival the invasion of Iraq in 2003. Appraised as a ‘very close second’ to carrying out a war on false pretenses that resulted in hundreds of thousands of civilian… Read more »

“You Created Me” Defiant Johnson Tells Britain

RESPONDING to a report which suggests contracts worth £3.7bn were awarded to those with close ties to the Conservative Party and may have the faintest whiff of corruption, in much the same way urine soaked blue cheese left outside in 100 degree sunshine smells ever so slightly, PM Boris Johnson has defended his actions by… Read more »