Ireland Confirms ‘If We Didn’t Like You, We Wouldn’t Slag You’ Rule Does Not Apply To Britain

BRITISH people under the impression that they’ve been on the receiving end of some classic good-natured slagging from the Irish down through the years have been informed that this is not the case and that Irish people do in fact hate their stinking guts, WWN can confirm.

“By and large when the Irish call you names or make fun of you, even if they call you the c-word, they are doing so in a playful manner, or at least they claim to be,” explained one cunning linguist today.

“But when it comes to the British, well the English, then all joviality is put aside. This whole notion that ‘if we didn’t like you, we wouldn’t slag you’ is put aside, and the Irish mean every damn word of what they call you. You can stop asking yourself ‘did he mean that when he called me a ‘pure cunt altogether’?. They meant it, and then some”.

The news has come as a shock to many Britons, who until now had considered any slagging from Ireland to be friendly banter, and not the absolutely vicious tear-down it really is.

“You mean when my Irish co-worker called me ‘a fucking Cromwell Thatcher Tony Blair bollox, that wasn’t a joke?” asked one English man today, aghast that those from countries formerly colonised by his nation might not have the kindest words to say about them.