A WATERFORD couple has released details of the dietary intake of their new puppy, noting that the little dog is eating less than he should of the specially-recommended Royal Doggi grain-free Alaskan Salmon flavoured puppy food, but is easily meeting his recommended daily allowance of cigarette butts and grass. In fact Tyson, now nearly 6… Read more »
“I WHOLEHEARTEDLY apologise, it was a moment of madness, a rush of blood to the protruding tusks but when I saw her, all I could think was ‘that feckin’ stupid warbling’”. These are the words of a repentant boar, Barry, who admits to attacking world famous musician Shakira in a Barcelona park. Though making her… Read more »
DESPITE a huge undertaking by humanity to roll back on practices that damage the bee population, a new study has revealed as many as 2 in every 3 bees talk shit about humans, WWN can reveal. “Gullible fools would do anything for us, do you see how much they’ve let they’re gardens and parks go… Read more »
THERE is substantial concern among Ireland’s wildlife and falconry experts as the once constant presence of shitehawks in Irish skies, fields and streets has dwindled almost to the point of extinction. Originally misidentified as a large predatory scavenger bird, the shitehawk was reclassified as a bird you’d cross the road to avoid even if there… Read more »
DESCRIBED as ‘a modern relic’, an 8 inch curl of white dog poop has been sold to an anonymous bidder for just over 8 million euro, making it the most expensive faeces in history. Bumping off the previous record of 6.7 million paid of a curl of dinosaur poo by Nicholas Cage when he was… Read more »
“LINDA! Once again I’ll stop you there,” barked pet dog Smudge, interrupting owner Linda Moran who was minutes into delivering a detailed breakdown of her day to her dog who remains unable to understand human speech. “Sure, intonations and tones I can pick up on to a degree, but I’m a fucking dog at the… Read more »
AS the Cheltenham Festival rolls around for another year, diminutive local man Eric Waverly is bracing himself for a slew of ‘would you not have given that a go?’ questions from friends and family, despite having never shown any interest in becoming a jockey whatsoever. “People think just because I’m under 5 foot tall, I’d… Read more »
HAVING traveled all the way from an iceberg in the North Pole for what he had hoped was the session to end all sessions, a walrus currently occupying a spot on Valentia Island is said to be ‘beside himself with rage and disappointment’. “You’re shitting me?” was believed to be the response by the wandering… Read more »
THE ENTIRE horse racing industry has galloped over countless fences to rush to condemn a horse trainer and jockey pictured with dead horses in a bid to nip all the ‘this needs widespread investigation’ calls expressed by the public in the bud. “Don’t bother launching a root and branch investigation into the industry, because it’d… Read more »
WILD donkey nests are said to be almost near extinction thanks to illegal year-round hedge cutting with the government issuing a reminder that hedge-cutting is banned from today until the end of August to protect such wildlife during nesting season. It is estimated that wild donkey figures are down by almost 78% since 2011 due… Read more »