DESCRIBED as ‘a modern relic’, an 8 inch curl of white dog poop has been sold to an anonymous bidder for just over 8 million euro, making it the most expensive faeces in history. Bumping off the previous record of 6.7 million paid of a curl of dinosaur poo by Nicholas Cage when he was… Read more »
“LINDA! Once again I’ll stop you there,” barked pet dog Smudge, interrupting owner Linda Moran who was minutes into delivering a detailed breakdown of her day to her dog who remains unable to understand human speech. “Sure, intonations and tones I can pick up on to a degree, but I’m a fucking dog at the… Read more »
AS the Cheltenham Festival rolls around for another year, diminutive local man Eric Waverly is bracing himself for a slew of ‘would you not have given that a go?’ questions from friends and family, despite having never shown any interest in becoming a jockey whatsoever. “People think just because I’m under 5 foot tall, I’d… Read more »
HAVING traveled all the way from an iceberg in the North Pole for what he had hoped was the session to end all sessions, a walrus currently occupying a spot on Valentia Island is said to be ‘beside himself with rage and disappointment’. “You’re shitting me?” was believed to be the response by the wandering… Read more »
THE ENTIRE horse racing industry has galloped over countless fences to rush to condemn a horse trainer and jockey pictured with dead horses in a bid to nip all the ‘this needs widespread investigation’ calls expressed by the public in the bud. “Don’t bother launching a root and branch investigation into the industry, because it’d… Read more »
WILD donkey nests are said to be almost near extinction thanks to illegal year-round hedge cutting with the government issuing a reminder that hedge-cutting is banned from today until the end of August to protect such wildlife during nesting season. It is estimated that wild donkey figures are down by almost 78% since 2011 due… Read more »
COMMENTING on the fallout from a controversial viral image of an Irish horse trainer sitting on a dead racehorse, some 20,000 plus deceased animals who failed to make it on the racing track and were slaughtered have admitted to being kind of jealous for not making the news. The 22,000 figure, which is only from… Read more »
“IF I’ve told her once I’ve told her a thousand times,” howled frustrated 4-year-old dog Max as one of his owners plonked herself down on the couch in a towel, insisting she dry her hair and covering the couch in the process. Not meaning to sound ungrateful, Max made sure to state he loved humans… Read more »
THE roll-out of a new form of lab-grown meat is to be rolled out in secret to kebab shops around the world, in a bid to slowly ingratiate the substance to meat-eaters before revealing its true origins, much as how a mother might wait until her family was finished a delicious meal before revealing that… Read more »
2020 continues to bring fresh challenges to us all; the latest being the scourge of zombie coronavirus mink herds, leading experts to issue a checklist to ensure you and your family’s safety in this new twist of the 2020 knife. The guidelines come following a botched mass-cull of the animals in Denmark, aimed at curbing… Read more »