Tayto Bison State ‘Changing The Taste Of Rancheros’ As Reason For Stampede


A HERD of bison that ran amok in Tayto Park has cited the company’s tinkering with the flavours of favourites such as Rancheros, Skips and Banshee Bones as one of the reasons they wreaked havoc on the Meath theme park yesterday.

“Tayto bought up a load of competitors and release their crisps under the Tayto banner, which is fine, that’s business. But why would you change the taste of everything?” snorted a furious 2000lb bison bull we spoke to.

“Banshee Bones don’t cut the gums off you with the salt any more. Onion Rings don’t leave you stinking any more. Even our buffalo friends have expressed disgust with how Hunky Dory’s have been changed. So we staged a small protest stampede. The first of many, until our demands for a return to the salt content of these snacks to be reinstated are met”.

Other reasons for the kick-off include:

– Anger at a group of kids on tour from Dublin who kept referring to the bison as ‘hairy cows’.

– General dissatisfaction at having to live in Meath.

– A growing concern that when Tayto give up sponsorship of the park as they are scheduled to do, it’ll be re-named ‘Aldi Land or something like that’

– Solidarity with the bison in Fota Island, God love them.

– Just stress, you know? Bison shit. You wouldn’t understand.