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Joe Biden Launches ‘I’m Not Trump’ Campaign
THE 2020 presidential hopes of the Democratic party were buoyed today following the announcement of a striking new tagline for ... -
Johnson Unsure How To Phrase Break Up Text To Northern Ireland
BRITISH PM Boris Johnson has reportedly been staring blankly at his phone for hours, unable to summon forth the delicately ... -
Trump Vows To Replace Ginsburg With Better Looking Woman
US PRESIDENT Donald Trump has expressed his admiration for the life and work of the late Supreme Court judge Ruth ... -
God Sorry Now He Forgot To Include Bible Passage About Him Being Black
“When I think back on it now; it probably could have made a huge difference to the way humanity treats ... -
Johnson Worried He Won’t Be Able To Give Covid Fuck Up Same Attention As Brexit ...
DOWNING STREET insiders have today spoken of Boris Johnson’s ‘profound worry and fear’ that his recent focus on ensuring an ... -
Lyons, Or Barrys? We Ask A Russian Spy Which Is Best To Slip Poison Into
WHETHER it’s sitting down for a nice cuppa and a purple snack at 4pm, or slipping a political opponent a ... -
Irony Dead As Blair Criticises Johnson For Breaking International Law
AN INTERNATIONAL team of pathologists and coroners have confirmed that irony died an ‘agonising death’ following a ‘deliberate and premeditated’ ... -
Brexit Success As Britain Sign Trade Deal With Venus
THE CONSERVATIVE government is today hailing yet another Brexit breakthrough with the announcement that they have signed a ‘win-win’ trade ... -
Boris Johnson’s Guide To Flawless Trade Negotiations
PULLING apart the sticky pages of his treasured copy of ‘The Art Of The No Deal’ book, British PM Boris ... -
World Longs For Carefree Days When British PM Just Stuck Penis In Dead Pig’s Mouth
THE image of David Cameron inserting his penis into the head of a dead pig now seems like a cherished ...