Center Parcs Welcomes First Non-Influencer

THE staff at Center Parcs in Longford were put on high alert this week following the arrival of their first-ever paying customer, after months of catering solely to social media influencers and bloggers. Since it opened this summer, the adventure centre holiday park has received nothing but praise and good reviews from people who have… Read more »

VAR Ruining Game, Say Fans Who Wanted VAR For Years

SPORTS fans are being urged to “pick a fucking lane” after bitter complaints that VAR is ruining games left and right, despite decades of calling for VAR to prevent games being ruined. VAR, short for Video Assistant Referee, was brought in to combat close calls such as penalty decisions, red card calls and goal-mouth scrambles,… Read more »

Whale Trapped In Dublin Following MyTaxi Fuck-Up

THE mystery surrounding the appearance of a Minke whale in Dublin bay has been solved today after it was revealed that the animal had been dropped off in the wrong spot by a MyTaxi driver, or Hailo, or FreeNow, or whatever they’re calling themselves this week. Normally found in the colder waters of the North… Read more »

Status Red Warning Issued For Bread Memes

IN LIGHT of the impending storm making landfall on Ireland, the public has been urged to prepare itself for floods of ‘hilarious’ bread based memes, with torrential downpours of lame, bread-based humour expected. “Gales of gas bastards will flurry across the country this afternoon with their seasonal based, gluton free jokes, resembling what can only be… Read more »

“I’m All For Asylum Seekers In Another Town At Least 100km From Me”

THROUGH Waterford man Micheal Duckan’s words and actions, so much about Ireland today is brought to life; not outwardly racist, not outwardly anti-racism, Duckan claims to have no dog in the fight of safely relocating asylums seekers in Ireland, far away from the persecution, violence and possible death awaiting them in their own countries. “Yeah…”… Read more »