LOCAL man Francis Milton has come out against the apparent simplicity of the Leaving Certificate examinations, stating that back in his day the exam was a real pressure cooker that would reduce even the toughest of students to a blubbering mess ‘but by God, they toughened themselves up and did it’. Milton, 40, made the… Read more »
WATERFORD CITY will be brought roaring into the 19th century with a new €280 million development along the north quays, reversing a trend of a complete lack of investment in the city and county for much of its entire history, WWN can confirm. The Saudi-backed development instantaneously erases Waterford people’s knowledge of war crimes in… Read more »
THE UK SUPREME Court’s rejection of an appeal from human rights campaigners over Northern Ireland’s abortion laws has given the Yes voting people of Ireland just the 4,567th opportunity to tut dismissively in the direction of Northern Ireland, decrying how it’s a shame it can’t be as astoundingly progressive as the Republic. Very modern, progressive,… Read more »
AS RUMOURS swirl that gormless idiot David Davis will resign from his position in Theresa May’s cabinet as Minister for Ensuring Very Stupid Thing Happens With Maximum Negative Impact, British prime minister May is reportedly watching YouTube compilations of car crashes in a bid to take her mind off Brexit. Footage of hunks of metal… Read more »
WHETHER it’s a neighbour who really wants to turn his bungalow into a dormer to create extra space for his growing family, or a much-needed revamp of a dilapidated part of town that will bring new economic growth to the area, there’s nothing like somebody applying for planning permission to really bring out your inner… Read more »
A man from Waterford is experiencing a true renaissance after inserting a cotton swab so far into his ear that he managed to reset himself to factory settings. Now, the 28-year-old is having to relearn basic skills such as speaking, walking and eating independently with experts left confounded by the mystery. Since Simon Mannigan is… Read more »
A RECENT Irish winner of a bumper Euromillions jackpot has discovered a double-decker bus full of cousins he was hitherto completely unaware of, WWN can reveal. Michael Drennan’s extended network of cousins, first cousins, second cousins, step cousins and half cousin twice removed made themselves known to the 37-year-old Tramore native in the hours after… Read more »
AS President Michael D. Higgins offered words of condolence and apology to an assembled group of Magdalene Laundry survivors in an emotional ceremony in Áras an Uachtarián yesterday, the country went to the book marked ‘Big List Of Things We Have To Apologise For’ to see what was next on the list. Higgins reiterated an… Read more »
OKAY so it’s a little late to be looking for studying hacks, but just like when we did the Leaving Cert, we’ve left everything to the last minute to gather up these hacks, apologies. We don’t need to tell you to stay calm and just let this advice sink in, we know you’re high on… Read more »
