A LOCAL Dublin dickhead with a penchant for only the finest, most ludicrously named craft beers has been in his local off licence agonising over which craft beers to place in his basket for nearly 45 minutes, WWN can exclusively reveal. 28-year-old Gary Penrose’s personality and self of self worth is so closely wrapped up… Read more »
SENIOR BRITISH military officials past and present have come forward once again to confirm that it would be just terribly unfair altogether if any British soldiers, who murdered 14 innocent civilians in the 1972 Bloody Sunday massacre, were to be held to account and face charges ranging from ‘murder’ all the way up to ‘murder’…. Read more »
FORMER Sinn Féin leader Gerry Adams’ latest quirky book, aptly named The Negotiators’ Cook Book, is rumoured to contain hints as to the exact locations of several IRA victims known as The Disappeared, who were murdered and whose bodies remain undiscovered much to the continued heartache and dismay of their families. Speaking through his beard at the Peile… Read more »
A FAMISHED Waterford man currently trying to decide what to eat for lunch has confirmed he is actually “too hungry” to try the Falafel, but promised to make the decision to eat one someday, just not today. Mark Ryan, 44, who could probably do with losing a few pounds now that he thinks about it, has… Read more »
FOLLOWING news that a staggering one million Irish people are currently waiting on some form of hospital waiting list, Minister For Health Simon Harris has called on the nation to take a good hard look at itself, WWN can confirm. “What are you doing to yourselves at all?” asked Mr. Harris, who was rudely interrupted by… Read more »
WATERFORD’S first and only peregrine falcon-friendly cafe has closed its doors after less than a week, with the owners fleeing the country amid dozens of compensation claims from customers injured by a number of the beautiful but deadly birds of prey while enjoying their americanos and €9 panini sandwiches. Copying the business model of dog-friendly… Read more »
DO you find it impossible to pee while there’s other people present? Does your stream take forever to start while you build up the courage to urinate? You could be one of 5% of the population that suffers from bladder shyness. Bladder shyness can be a debilitating condition which mostly affects the male population, forcing them to… Read more »
Waterford Whispers News is dedicated to bringing you, the public, all the essential news and having discovered injecting the news directly into your veins is illegal (thanks health and safety laws) we will instead deliver it to your eyes and ears in a live setting. Get news’d in the face at the following venues with… Read more »
GARDAÍ have issued a warning on a batch of extra strength communion wafers which are believed to be flooding the country ahead of the Pope’s Phoenix Park gig later this month. The speckled wafers are believed to contain ten times the amount of body of Christ than normal Sunday wafers and can cause heart palpitations, dehydration and even… Read more »
