Category: BREAKING NEWS


City & Spurs Play Out Drab, Joyless Draw

FOOTBALL fans have begun cancelling their TV sports packages in an act of protest and are refusing to renew their season tickets after Manchester City and Tottenham Hotspur’s Champion’s League tie resulted in a draw over two legs. Famously derided by non-fans as a boring inconsequential run around a field, the sport of football proved… Read more »

5 Worst Things Assange Did In The Ecuadorian Embassy

REPORTS have emerged surrounding the behaviour of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange during his 7-year stay in the Ecuadorian embassy in London, including instances of faecal-wall smearage, and it doesn’t stop there. Here’s 5 more anti-social things that prompted the Ecuadorians to say bye-bye and hand Assange over to UK authorities: 1) Left shavings in the… Read more »

Dublin In Mourning As No Fires Break Out At The Spire

CROWDS of inconsolable Dubliners lined the length and breadth of O’Connell Street, every one of them lost in grief as they caught sight of a perfectly intact Spire monument. A true emblem of Dublin, which conjures next to no feelings of love in the heart’s of the city’s residents, stood defiant and tall. Utterly bereft,… Read more »

How Single-Use Condoms Are Destroying The Environment

IN the past number of years the public have agreed with those in charge that the main things killing this planet are single-use plastics. Drinking straws, cotton buds, betting shop biros, things like that. Not huge tax-dodging corporations who lobby governments to find new ways to pollute the planet on an industrial scale. On the… Read more »

Mueller Report Redacted Using Crayon

THE IMPENDING publication, by the US Department of Justice, of a redacted version of the Mueller Report has been welcomed by some Democrats, while others have expressed their concern over what exactly is being presented to the American people. “An advanced copy has been made available to me by the president, but my suspicions of… Read more »