BAR staff in Dun Laoghaire are on high alert this evening following news that local battleaxe, Angela Reynolds, is out with her golfing buddies again for a couple of post-round drinks. Reynolds, who lives in one of those nice houses on the seafront, is notorious for her gin snobbery, regularly cocking her nose up at… Read more »
THE UNITED Nations, an intergovernmental organisation tasked to promote international order, has come under fire today after allowing American president Donald Trump to casually threaten 25 million North Koreans with annihilation. In his maiden speech at the UN headquarters in New York, Mr Trump vowed to ‘totally destroy’ North Korea over the country’s ongoing nuclear… Read more »
GARDAÍ have issued a warning to all innocent bystanders following a recent spate of gangland killings in the Dublin area, adding that people have ‘only themselves to blame’ if they receive gunshot wounds in the coming weeks. The warnings come as gardaí struggle to find clues as to who might be behind the Kinahan and… Read more »
“YOU think you’ve seen ploughing? Bitch, you’ve seen nothing yet,” said one farmer at the start of day 2 of the 2017 Ploughing Championships, slapping himself in the face to psych himself up for an intense day of ploughing competition. “This is what sorts the ploughing men from the ploughing boys. If you can’t stand… Read more »
THE latest entry in Sean Spicer’s collection of amusing japes has seen him make a cameo at the bedside of a cancer patient who will almost certainly die if a revived effort to repeal Obamacare succeeds. “Ha! Bet you didn’t think you’d see me,” Spicer said as he burst into the room belonging to 69-year-old… Read more »
A SHOCKING escalation in the silencing of sensible, straight-talking voices occurred this morning when a raid by the Thought Gardaí Unit (TGU) resulted in the arrest of 5 George Hook supporters. Fearful that their opinions were being silenced, many people sharing the same rational thoughts as the suspended Newstalk host recently expressed their displeasure at… Read more »
ENDLESS experiments leading only to dead ends. Reputations in tatters. Resignation after resignation. The curious case of Cork man Cormac Cronin continues to baffle the scientific community with an increasing number of leading scientists refusing to partake in further experiments, claiming the man is cursed. “I heard one scientist went mad and ate nothing but… Read more »
THE Irish Farmers Association has issued an urgent appeal for new and used flat caps, bodywarmers, and welly boots, after the National Ploughing Championship was hit with one of the worst farmer’s clothing droughts in generations. Analysts have confirmed that there are currently somewhere in the region of 300,000 people at the Tullamore event, including… Read more »
THE verdict on the internet comment section trial of Irishman Ibrahim Halawa has reportedly been delayed for the 25th time in Ireland, WWN has learned. Despite being acquitted of all charges against him by an Egyptian court in Cairo, an online jury of experts continue to deliberate the fate of the 21-year-old by carefully flicking through evidence published… Read more »
