A COUNTY Waterford woman has become the first known human in history to contract pink eye in her third eye and is currently being treated with a new experimental therapy in Dublin, WWN has learned. Alison Cooley first noticed the condition late last year during a group meditation session when she felt the overwhelming urge to… Read more »
FOOTBALL fans have begun cancelling their TV sports packages in an act of protest and are refusing to renew their season tickets after Manchester City and Tottenham Hotspur’s Champion’s League tie resulted in a draw over two legs. Famously derided by non-fans as a boring inconsequential run around a field, the sport of football proved… Read more »
REPORTS have emerged surrounding the behaviour of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange during his 7-year stay in the Ecuadorian embassy in London, including instances of faecal-wall smearage, and it doesn’t stop there. Here’s 5 more anti-social things that prompted the Ecuadorians to say bye-bye and hand Assange over to UK authorities: 1) Left shavings in the… Read more »
CROWDS of inconsolable Dubliners lined the length and breadth of O’Connell Street, every one of them lost in grief as they caught sight of a perfectly intact Spire monument. A true emblem of Dublin, which conjures next to no feelings of love in the heart’s of the city’s residents, stood defiant and tall. Utterly bereft,… Read more »
THE IRISH public warmly greeted the words of Minister for Transport, Tourism and Sport Shane Ross when he confirmed the entire FAI board would resign from their positions in July, however, since this news emerged it has become clear that in a further act of sly japery the board wrote their resignations in slowly disappearing… Read more »
AFTER A sobering 4-0 aggregate defeat at the hands of Barcelona, football observers believe Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s side are just 25 elite level players away from bridging the gap between United and Europe’s top clubs. Careful to note that United will ‘need to rebuild’ after the rebuilding phase overseen by David Moyes which was rebuilt… Read more »
IN A STATEMENT delivered to French president Emmanuel Macron from heaven via a parting in the clouds, God Almighty has said that a pledge to restore Notre Dame to its former glory in 5 years time is simply not good enough. “If I can build the world in 6 days, you can restore one cathedral… Read more »
IN the past number of years the public have agreed with those in charge that the main things killing this planet are single-use plastics. Drinking straws, cotton buds, betting shop biros, things like that. Not huge tax-dodging corporations who lobby governments to find new ways to pollute the planet on an industrial scale. On the… Read more »
THE IMPENDING publication, by the US Department of Justice, of a redacted version of the Mueller Report has been welcomed by some Democrats, while others have expressed their concern over what exactly is being presented to the American people. “An advanced copy has been made available to me by the president, but my suspicions of… Read more »
