INITIALLY dismissing the idea of reintroducing wolves to Ireland as ludicrous proposal from Green Party hippies, the Irish government is slowly coming round to the idea after an emergency cabinet meeting. “What do we know about wolves guys?” the Taoiseach said as he began a Power Point presentation in front of his ministers. “They have… Read more »
FOLLOWING THE unveiling of Boris Johnson’s Brexit proposals that could serve as an alternative to the backstop, the Irish government has been left in the tough position of choosing between stating once more that the backstop is the only available option on the table that safeguards the Good Friday Agreement or embracing the steaming pile… Read more »
THE staff at Center Parcs in Longford were put on high alert this week following the arrival of their first-ever paying customer, after months of catering solely to social media influencers and bloggers. Since it opened this summer, the adventure centre holiday park has received nothing but praise and good reviews from people who have… Read more »
SPORTS fans are being urged to “pick a fucking lane” after bitter complaints that VAR is ruining games left and right, despite decades of calling for VAR to prevent games being ruined. VAR, short for Video Assistant Referee, was brought in to combat close calls such as penalty decisions, red card calls and goal-mouth scrambles,… Read more »
THE government has held its daily work-in-progress meeting to tackle the root cause of why the housing crisis continues to grow in Ireland, despite the sterling work of Housing Minister Eoghan Murphy and the flawless strategy that they’ve been sticking to for years now and will continue to abide by until the country is back… Read more »
THE mystery surrounding the appearance of a Minke whale in Dublin bay has been solved today after it was revealed that the animal had been dropped off in the wrong spot by a MyTaxi driver, or Hailo, or FreeNow, or whatever they’re calling themselves this week. Normally found in the colder waters of the North… Read more »
IN LIGHT of the impending storm making landfall on Ireland, the public has been urged to prepare itself for floods of ‘hilarious’ bread based memes, with torrential downpours of lame, bread-based humour expected. “Gales of gas bastards will flurry across the country this afternoon with their seasonal based, gluton free jokes, resembling what can only be… Read more »
MET ÉIREANN’s shining beacon of weather knowledge Evelyn Cusack has been forced to deny claims she has completely fabricated the existence of Storm Lorenzo all so she can just get a bit of air time on the telly, WWN can reveal. Rumours had been circulating that Cusack had become addicted to high profile appearances on… Read more »
THROUGH Waterford man Micheal Duckan’s words and actions, so much about Ireland today is brought to life; not outwardly racist, not outwardly anti-racism, Duckan claims to have no dog in the fight of safely relocating asylums seekers in Ireland, far away from the persecution, violence and possible death awaiting them in their own countries. “Yeah…”… Read more »
