THIS just in. Cathal Dernan around the corner just got a brand new bike, and it’s not his birthday or anywhere near Christmas and his mam and dad aren’t breaking up or anything like that, they just went out and got him a brand new bike out of nowhere, you should see it, he was… Read more »
AS the Kardashian corporation welcomes a new member into the fold today with the birth of Khloe’s first baby, the lesser-known older sister of the family has finally spoken out about her thoughts on the dynasty from her custom-build attic room in Kris Jenner’s LA home. Born in 1977, Gertrude Kardashian was the first child… Read more »
ADULT film star Stormy Daniels has been reportedly killed last night in a US led airstrike in Syria, WWN can confirm. The controversial porn actress had apparently travelled to the middle eastern country on Thursday in what friends and family members are saying was an unusual move by the dead 39-year-old. “We have no idea… Read more »
LIKE them or not, new recycling charges are here. With customers now being charged a fee for their green bins as well as their standard household refuse, it’s time to take a look at how you can keep your amount of lifts down to a minimum, by ensuring that you use your recycling bin in an effective, economic fashion…. Read more »
A GROUNDBREAKING new surgical procedure has successfully removed a large round gin glass from the hand of one Galway woman, allowing her to post selfies of something other than her with a pint of gin, tonic and ice in her hand. Oranmore-born Connie Whelan had become hopelessly fused to the glass over the last year,… Read more »
US PRESIDENT Donald Trump has had to retract his angry statements about an ongoing FBI witch hunt, after a task force from the bureau managed to rescue a number of kidnapped children from certain death at the hands of a gaggle of witches who were on the verge of boiling them in a giant pot…. Read more »
HAVE you ever looked at other people’s children and found yourself trying to subdue a deep irrational hatred for their stupid little faces? Well, according to a groundbreaking new study in the United States Of America, you may be on to something. Researchers at MIT have found that a large majority, if not all of other peoples kids,… Read more »
DESPITE previous extreme endeavours to get to the bottom of data breaches, media mogul Denis O’Brien has somehow restrained himself from acting on the news of yet another data breach, this time at a media company that he owns a 30% stake in. The usually vocal and quick acting businessman has so far managed to put… Read more »
“I’d forget my head if it wasn’t screwed on,” voiced embarrassed commanding officer of the USS Donald Cook, Matt Caldwell, while rolling his eyes and slapping his forehead in disbelief, “what are the chances?” Arriving in the Mediterranean Sea yesterday afternoon, the Arleigh Burke-class guided missile destroyer departed Larnaca, Cyprus, before making a U-turn after United States Navy… Read more »
