MOMENTS before reentering the Earth’s atmosphere, billionaire Richard Branson personally thanked all 4,700 former Virgin Atlantic employees terminated in the last year, as without them Branson probably wouldn’t have been able to afford his jaunt to space. “Oh I can’t imagine how happy they all for me to be going on this little pointless tourist… Read more »
IRELAND’S panicked Minister for Finance Paschal Donohoe has been frantically ringing world leaders attending the G7 summit in Cornwall in a bid to prevent a formal agreement on corporation tax, which could see the end to Ireland’s 12.5% rate. Having failed to avert the meeting going ahead with a fake bomb threat which saw a… Read more »
THE PRISON guards who failed to watch over Jeffrey Epstein’s prison cell the night he hung himself, wink wink nudge nudge, have avoided a jail sentence and will instead be handed down a unique punishment. “Due to your plea deal struck with prosecutors, I hereby permit you to walk free to fall foul of an… Read more »
A ROUTINE competency test for a ship captain turned into a nightmare after the individual failed a basic three point turn test in the Suez Canal, WWN can confirm. “What are you writing on your little clipboard? Did I do something wrong? Stop writing! Oh shit not again,” the captain was heard shouting in despair… Read more »
IN A MOVE that has come as no surprise to anthropologists observing humankind, leading authorities, politicians, nations and businesses remain embroiled in fractious arguments about vaccine supplies which were meant to end the pandemic that has hobbled the world and resulted in millions of deaths and widespread hardship. “Honestly, we’re so fucking stupid I don’t… Read more »
WITH THE NEWS that members of his legal team have quit amid disputes over strategy for his second impeachment trial, former US president Donald Trump has reportedly begun to feel the sudden recurrence of crippling bones spurs. Straining and feigning concern for the every movement undertaken by his ankles, Trump has reportedly been dropping very… Read more »
CONSPIRATORIAL websites around the world lit up today following the first confirmed death to be associated with the Pfizer vaccine, before being forced to come up with novel ways to work around the fact that the deceased party was in fact struck by a delivery truck. The unnamed German man was said to be ‘toddling… Read more »
IT’S been a year that can reasonable claim to have been worse than 2016, known chiefly for its high death counts among the most beloved and famous people in the world of sport and entertainment. As 2020 took Maradona, Sean Connery, Diana Rigg, Jack Charlton, Marian Finucane, Chadwick Boseman, Olivia de Havilland, Bill Withers, John… Read more »
LOOKING back on a whirlwind 12 months, Hao Xi, the man credited with ordering bat soup at Wuhan wet market was in a reflective mood. “Ah it can’t be, over 12 months? You’re joking” offered Hao Xi, “really? Where does the time go at all. You mean 12 months ago, in this wet market? I… Read more »
TO SAY it is a tough job market out there these days is an understatement in the extreme, however, WWN Jobs is here to bring job hunters some good news. There is a high profile opening in Iran’s nuclear development programme with competitive pay and comes with the chance to live in the historic and… Read more »