A STUDY conducted by the World Wildlife Fund has revealed that people could be ingesting an astonishing 5 grams of plastic a week, such is the ubiquity of plastics in our societies. However, those seeking to partake in a balanced diet may be worried their inadvertent consumption of plastics through plastic bottles and shellfish consumption… Read more »
ISIS LEADER Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the world’s most wanted man, has come forward and admitted that his retreat in search for inner peace is the reason that we ‘haven’t been hearing a lot from him lately’. Al-Baghdadi made his surprise return to social media following ISIS’s heavy defeat in their last stronghold of Baghouz in March,… Read more »
AS PART of WWN’s daily depressing update on the rights of minorities and marginalised communities around the world we are reluctantly making you aware of this wretched knuckle dragging prick, Sultan of Brunei Hassanal Bolkiah. From next week adultery and gay sex will be illegal and punishable by stoning to death because the Sultan is… Read more »
1) Refugees drowning in the Mediterranean sea Like most of you we were almost 100% certain the world would stand as one and say ‘no more’ but boy were we wrong. It’s still happening and sure, you don’t even bother reading about it anymore. Remember when that child washed ashore? And you thought to yourself… Read more »
DELEGATES from the world’s media have offered a 21-pen salute to the gallant men and women of ISIS, in a moving ceremony to mark the fall of the last stronghold of the terrorist organisation. With the last members of the Caliphate holed up in a desperate, hopeless siege in Syria, journalists and editors from the biggest news outlets… Read more »
PRESIDENT of the free world Donald Trump has defied medical experts by making a miraculous recovery from the bone spurs that cruelly robbed him of the chance to fight for his country in Vietnam over fifty years ago. Arriving in Hanoi ahead of his historic meeting with North Korean premier Kim Jong Un, Trump took… Read more »
A STARK warning from the World Health Organisation has outlined the dangers of people assuming a fart is just a fart when out in public, amid the world’s ongoing battle against ‘following through’. Some of the world’s leading experts in sharting came together at a conference in Geneva where they discussed at length the impact of… Read more »
SUFFERING what vets on the scene have confirmed as chronic battery failure, the last know tamotchi has sadly died in the Etosha National Park, in Namibia. “We were too late,” a disconsolate vet Anders Ahrens said, cradling the recently perished tamotchi in his arms, a study in profound grief. It is believed Tolo the tamogotchi… Read more »
THE STARVING MASSES of Yemen living in areas left cut off and isolated by a Saudi Arabian-funded offensive are hoping ‘2019 will be our year’ as they spent much of 2018 failing to grab the attention of casual news fans. Perhaps it was down to a failure to spend adequately on a marketing department but… Read more »
CHALKING it down as an early Christmas present to himself Russian President Vladimir Putin has gifted himself three Ukrainian Navy vessels despite the fact they weren’t his to give away in the first place, WWN can confirm. “It’s an act of ‘self-care’, you’ve got to look after yourself and be kinder to yourself especially in… Read more »