Not Now, Palestine!


NATIONS from across the globe have united in their condemnation of Russia’s illegal occupation of Ukrainian lands and the subsequent terrorisation and displacement of the indigenous people of that country and yes, Palestine, we see you with your hand up there, but please, not right now okay?

Furthermore, Russia’s use of controversial weaponry such as ‘vacuum bombs’ and thermobaric missiles has resulted in cries for Vladimir Putin to be brought up on charges of war crimes for the inhumane and indiscriminate suffering his army has rained down upon a defenceless civilaisn and no, we’re not taking questions at this time Afghanistan, please put your hands down, we’ll get to you later.

Across Europe, leaders have waived the entry requirements for refugees fleeing the slaughter in Ukraine, and yes Syria we know you’ve seen the same footage of exhausted men, women and children being welcomed with open arms on the borders of every European country and yes we know you’ve got plenty to say about that, but now just isn’t the time okay?

Meanwhile, stories of the bravery of ordinary Ukrainian citizens who took up arms to defend their homeland and their families against the oppression of a much bigger, stronger and better-equipped army have provided an insight into how fearless and amazing the human spirit can be in the face of such terrifying odds and Palestine, not now, okay? Jesus, how many times do we have to tell you? Fucking hell.

And yes, Yemen, we see you sitting there with a face on you. Go on, say whatever you’re going to say, so we can get back to the main issue over here.