Tag: northern Ireland

British Government To Rename Murders Carried Out By Soldiers As ‘Whoopsy Daisies’

AHEAD of a rumoured decision to prevent future prosecutions of British soldiers by introducing a statute of limitations, the British government is set to reclassify murders carried out by soldiers during the Troubles as ‘whoopsy daisies’. “We work shopped a few terms, but we feel this showcases our staggering indifference to the murder of people… Read more »

The Next DUP Leader? We Look At The Candidates

AS the DUP wave goodbye to Arlene Foster, party members are looking toward the future and who will take up the mantle of saying ‘no’ to every effort to help Northern Ireland progress and prosper in any way. Here are the candidates: Edwin Poots The early favourite, Poots is favoured by DUP members on his… Read more »

DUP Not Sure Foster Hateful Enough To Lead Party

DESPITE insisting to party members that things would get much, much, much worse if they’d just give her another chance, it appears Arlene Foster’s days as DUP leader could be over. As rumours persist that a majority of party members have passed a motion of no confidence in Foster as leader at a meeting held… Read more »

How To ‘Solve’ Northern Ireland, According To This Dubliner

FRESH from recent ‘disturbances’ in Loyalist communities ‘up north’ WWN’s resident self-appointed Northern Ireland expert, Dublin native Paddy Fenton, believes he has unearthed easy remedies to the interminable problem that is Northern Ireland. “Oh what are they like,” teased Fenton, grinning the sort of grin only a man who has ‘solved’ Northern Ireland could. “I’m… Read more »

Johnson Wouldn’t Have Signed Up To Northern Ireland Protocol If He Knew He’d Have To Honour It

LABELING the EU’s decision to take legal action over the UK government’s continued flagrant disregard for the Northern Ireland Protocol as ‘silly business’, PM Boris Johnson insisted he honestly wouldn’t have signed up to the ‘blasted thing’ if he was actually expected to honour it. “Mea culpa, I feel ruddy well stupid, I had no… Read more »