Tag: northern Ireland

DUP Won’t Nominate Deputy First Minister Unless British Government Buys Them Pony

SENDING SHOCKWAVES through the political world, DUP leader Jeffrey Donaldson has suggested the unthinkable: his party will bring down the Stormont before it even has a chance to form because it’s not happy that the Northern Ireland protocol, which his party made inevitable through its advocating for Brexit, still exists. “We won’t nominate a deputy… Read more »

What A Sinn Féin First Minister Means According To The Fevered Nightmares Of Arlene Foster

TECHNICALLY you are already breaking the law by attempting to read this article in English if you’re resident in Northern Ireland as ‘curry my yogurt’ Irish is the new official language, as outlined in Arlene Foster’s fevered dreams. Using special sectarian science WWN has obtained the nightmares of Arléné Ní Fóstér and can reveal just… Read more »

Here Are The DUP’s Last Minute Election Promises

FACING the risk of Sinn Féin becoming the largest party after the Assembly elections on the 5th of May, a desperate DUP leader Jeffrey Donaldson has begun making huge vote-swaying pledges and promises in a bid to coax people into voting for his beleaguered party. Responding to an election which has been dominated by cost… Read more »

Failed Revolutionaries Mark Failed Revolution

MEMBERS of Derry-based Republican group Saoradh have marched on the streets to commemorate the Easter Rising of 1916, stating that they ‘know a thing or two’ about being a poorly-received group of dissidents ultimately destined for failure. “A lot of people are under the assumption that the Easter Rising was this rip-roaring success, welcomed and… Read more »

DUP No Longer Biggest Dinosaurs In UK

THE discovery of the largest Ichthyosaur fossil in UK history has been welcomed by the Democratic Unionist Party, who have kindly handed over the award of ‘biggest dinosaur in the Commonwealth’ to the 33ft behemoth. The fearsome fossil was discovered at the Rutland Water Reserve in the English midlands, and is estimated to be about… Read more »