WIPING A tear from his face as the emotions proved too much, after 19 long months Declan ‘DJ Dec On Decks’ Moore finally had his livelihood and all the beautiful moments that come with it back. “Say that again?” DJ Dec shouted, leaning in towards a group of agitated women who strongly implied they’d turn… Read more »
AMERICAN rapper, songwriter, media personality, actor and businessman, Snoop Dogg has turned 350-years-old today, WWN reports. Mr. Dogg, who is the best boy so he is, is expected to spend his birthday surrounded by his bitch and litter of four children before attending his 350th bash in California with his pack. “Bow-wow-wow, yippie-yo, yippie-yay,” Snoop… Read more »
THERE are fears of an escalation to all-out warfare after the Jesy Nelson and the current members of Little Mix have rejected the UN’s offer to hold peace talks in Oslo, Norway. “The escalation in retaliatory rhetoric and a rejection of conciliatory acts sets the groundwork for a powder keg like explosion that’s sends the… Read more »
LIKE a slow motion car crash made entirely out of tattoos and vomit inducing PDAs, news of Kourtney Kardashian’s engagement to Travis Barker has prompted millions of women who went through their own bad boy phase to partake in the largest intervention ever committed in the history of ‘we tried to warn you’. “Sure, your… Read more »
IT’S been a bad week for the Durst family following not only New York real estate heir Robert Durst’s guilty verdict for the murder of his best friend, but also the incarceration of his far-removed cousin Fred for crimes against music. “I did it all for the nookie!” screamed the 51-year-old Limp Bizkit frontman as… Read more »
THERE was complete radio silence from the hashtag Free Britney crowd this week as the newly-emancipated singer completed the incantation to open the rift between our world and that of the Shapeless Ones, doubtlessly dooming us all. As the entire west coast of America slowly began to be consumed by the inky death issuing forward… Read more »
“I WHOLEHEARTEDLY apologise, it was a moment of madness, a rush of blood to the protruding tusks but when I saw her, all I could think was ‘that feckin’ stupid warbling’”. These are the words of a repentant boar, Barry, who admits to attacking world famous musician Shakira in a Barcelona park. Though making her… Read more »
THE NEWS that high levels of drugs were found in the waters of the lakes, rivers and marshes surrounding the site of the iconic Glastonbury music festival has piqued the interest of world-famous podcaster Joe Rogan, who has announced that he would like a stoned-out-of-it British fish to join him for a Zoom interview. Scientists… Read more »
A SOURCE close to Britney Spears has thanked her legions of fans for their years-long ‘Free Britney Now’ campaign that helped the singer escape from her father’s conservatorship after 13 years, and has urged them to ‘see what else they can get done’. Spears had been under her father’s control since 2008 amid fears for… Read more »
THE WHEELS of justice turn quickly as evidenced by R. Kelly’s conviction of sex trafficking just a brief 27 years after he first came to the attention of authorities for illegally marrying a 15-year-old girl, musician Aaliyah. A swift turnaround experts say will have renewed victims’ faith in the judiciary and policing authorities in the… Read more »