AFTER receiving a 1,700 page first draft from U2 frontman Bono, the publishers of his forthcoming autobiography have finally managed to whittle the tome down to a ‘more manageable’ 567 pages, set to hit bookshelves on the 1st November. We’ve had a leaf through the book on Bono’s insistence, and feel we should print a… Read more »
CHEST PUFFED out and his lungs expelling every morsel of energy they can muster, local misty-eyed father Martin O’Conaty is yet again lost in a fog of heart wrenching nostalgia and ennui as he belts out Eurovision classic Rock ‘n’ Roll Kids, WWN has learned. “Honestly, whenever that comes on the radio you’re best leaving… Read more »
ANGRY scenes have erupted in the bunkers deep below pop megastar Ed Sheeran’s house today, after reports that trains to his shows in Ireland had been cancelled due to lack of demand, signalling an erosion of his stranglehold on the nation. “If we are losing travelling attendees from Cork, we must strengthen our grip around… Read more »
A LOCAL singer songwriter who has been missing since 2019 has been found safely up his own hole, WWN can confirm. Famed for his whiny, self-indulgent material, rescuers freed Waterford musician Mark Rogerson from the confines of his own bowels after becoming lodged up there for the past 3 years. It is understood that the… Read more »
LEARNING of the news that Grimes and her partner Elon Musk have had a second child, in secret, the Irish franchise of the Catholic Church has offered its services and long-standing expertise in commandeering control of a new mother’s progeny. “Had a child in secret is it? C’mere to me and we’ll sort that,” responded… Read more »
A LONDON High Court has suggested that singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran should simply admit he didn’t write the song Shape of You if he really wants to clear his good name, WWN has learned. Sheeran and two of his Shape of You co-authors are involved in a legal row with two songwriters who claim his number… Read more »
DAVID AND VICTORIA Beckham have become subject of confected outrage fueled by a knowing media for allowing their 17-year-old son Cruz to appear in a ‘weird’ photoshoot like he was some sort of vulnerable teenage girl who has been labeled the next ‘IT girl’. “If it was their daughter or any fame-adjacent girl and she… Read more »
KANYE WEST has brought clarity to his recent Instagram beef with Billie Eilish, Pete Davison, Kim Kardashian and Kid Cudi by stating it was an ‘error of judgement’ to place 18-year-old Dublin hunzo Amy O’Flynn in charge of his social media strategy. “ONLY SNAKES round here, don’t trust ne1. No1 loyal or honest nemore,” Amy… Read more »
RIHANNA IS PREGNANT! Perhaps the world’s worst kept secret but we’re delighted for the Fenty Kween and A$AP Rocky. Before we knew we knew that she knew we knew, how did Rihanna keep this all under wraps until her adorable photoshoot announcement? Well according to the Mail Online, Rihanna was obsessed with keeping her pregnancy… Read more »
THE line-up for this year’s Longitude festival has been announced, prompting Waterford dad-of-three Eamon O’Sheagh to spring into action on social media with his usual array of thoughts, comments and general snarkiness. The festival takes place from the 1st of July to the 3rd (during a weekend where O’Sheagh hopes it ‘pisses rain’ on everyone)… Read more »