Catholic Church Offer To Help Grimes & Elon Musk Get Rid Of Secret Second Child

LEARNING of the news that Grimes and her partner Elon Musk have had a second child, in secret, the Irish franchise of the Catholic Church has offered its services and long-standing expertise in commandeering control of a new mother’s progeny.

“Had a child in secret is it? C’mere to me and we’ll sort that,” responded a cavalcade of Irish nuns queuing up at the door of the ‘Oblivion’ singer’s home, keen to put their knowledge and experience to good use.

“We’ve already a family to sell it to, no questions asked, we’ve taken the courtesy of forging your signature to permit this too,” said one nun, who told Grimes not worry about a thing as she also had a local civil servant and guard on her side to smooth any issues over.

During her interview, Grimes claimed Musk sometimes thought she was a simulation created for the sole purpose of being his companion, prompting the nuns to ask if Grimes was sure Musk wasn’t Catholic.

Barely a minute passing since Grimes accidentally divulged the news of a second child in a recent interview which was interrupted by her child crying from another room, the nuns assured the singer this was now all under their control.

“We’ll say nothing to himself about it, and just a minor detail but it’s sort of the rules we’ll need to sort-of imprison you in an institution so we can cause maximum pain, trauma and agony,” reassured one nun.

“Then, it about 40 years the Irish government will take our side and insist you’re in the wrong when you come forward with personal testimony, deal?”