“This Is Just Typical Dad Lolz” Explain’s Putin Daughter
THE DAUGHTER of Russian President Vladimir Putin has broken her silence to exclusively chat to WWN, stating that the Ukrainian invasion is just stereotypical dad stuff pointing out that he’ll likely will never change.
“Oh, dad, you mentler, what has he done now?” Maria Faassen, Putin’s eldest child began, rolling her eyes in jest, smiling warmly at her father’s latest attempted annihilation of a sovereign nation, “it’s boredom I guess, there’s only so much you can do with half a trillion dollars hidden away; it was either invade Ukraine or take up ice-fishing, I guess.”
“We all kept saying to take it easy in his old age, but there’s no talking to him at all. Watch, he’ll have Ukraine looking like a scrap yard by Easter, like he did with Aleppo and that other place down the road with the beardy lads,” the 36-year-old pediatric endocrinologist added, “he was never one to back down, this is just typical dad lol, always right – there’s no telling him sure, you know yourself now”.
Slaughtering hundreds of innocent civilians and counting, Putin’s latest blitzing project has forced the global community into implementing some of the heaviest sanctions handed out in recent history, something his daughter believes won’t even bother daddy.
“Nothing phases him, you know? Images of children ripped to shreds by airstrikes, people starving to death begging for food before being shot point blank in the head; water off a ducks back for dad, he’s a gas man,” she revealed, now reminiscing about her younger days, “but he’d do anything for you all the same, if you’re family or a dictator that got on the wrong side of the West”.