Court Advises Ed Sheeran To Admit He Stole Songs If He Wants To ‘Clear His Good Name’


A LONDON High Court has suggested that singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran should simply admit he didn’t write the song Shape of You if he really wants to clear his good name, WWN has learned.

Sheeran and two of his Shape of You co-authors are involved in a legal row with two songwriters who claim his number one hit rips off parts of their 2015 track Oh Why something Sheeran and co totally deny.

“Seriously, you actually want to stake a claim to this?” the High Court judge asked the plaintiffs, his face grimacing as both tracks were played to the court, “I get there may be a financial element to your case, but wow, both songs are equally irritating to listen to, and if anything, you all should be at the Hague for crimes against humanity”.

Taking to the stand, Mr. Sheeran hummed musical scales and melodies as he was questioned over how Shape of You was written, forcing the judge to once again hastily intervene.

“Great, now it’s stuck in my head, cheers,” said an increasingly irritated judge, covering his ears. “Mr Sheeran you don’t have to do this, if you claim Shape of You, where does it end? ‘Bad Habits’ too? Are you saying this under duress? I’m sorry I just can’t buy someone would admit to this unless their family was kidnapped”.

Calling a two hour recess and insisting some Pink Floyd, anything, be played in court to help remove the ‘ear worm’, the judge instructed “put on the song ‘Money’ there. It’s why we’re all here and it actually qualifies as music.”

“You know, Ed, should have probably called it the State Of You,” the judge concluded, staring directly at Sheeran in disgust.