Tag: music

Stormzy Weather Warning Issued For Glastonbury

METEOROLOGISTS have administered a Stormzy weather warning for the Glastonbury music festival, with the BBC set to transmit pictures of the rare phenomenon experts say will occur at 22.15pm tonight and cause posh people to feel uncomfortable. It had been predicted the area would experience showers of banger after banger over the weekend, but political… Read more »

Basshunter Killed During Basshunt

IMAGES have circulated online showing the moment renowned Eurodance DJ Jonas Erik Altberg was trampled to death by a pounding house beat while on a Basshunt in Germany. The DJ, also known as Basshunter due to his love of hunting bass, had paid somewhere in the region of €10,000 to join the expedition, and had… Read more »

Israeli War Crimes < Eurovision

RTÉ have urged the country not to bother looking into the litany of atrocities carried out by the Israeli government against the people of Palestine between now and the Eurovision Song Contest in Tel Aviv on May 16th, as they may dampen the nation’s enthusiasm for catchy tunes and a dazzling stage show. The statement… Read more »

“If Only We Knew About Michael Jackson Before” Confirm Radio Stations

BRAVE radio stations continue to share with listeners their decision to cease playing Michael Jackson on the radio in the wake of revelations contained in the HBO documentary Leaving Neverland. “This is brand new information,” confirmed a local radio DJ whose voice trembled with sympathy for Michael Jackson’s alleged victims who magically appeared out of… Read more »

Ed Sheeran Marriage Annulled By Media

TABLOID journalists have applied for the annulment of the marriage of pop superstar Ed Sheeran to his childhood sweetheart, claiming that the union contravenes the time-honoured celebrity-media matrimonial agreement. Sheeran, ungrateful after everything the mainstream media has done for him, snuck off to marry Cherry Seaborn in what has been described as an intimate ceremony in… Read more »