AFTER 44 years, 13 movies, 2 reboots and a fairly definitive decline in box office returns, the Halloween franchise finally ended with Halloween Ends this weekend. Or did it? There’s no reason in today’s age of streaming that the franchise can’t continue for another 4 decades, creating content that passes the time for viewers and… Read more »
“OH, my poor fucking head,” exclaimed local kid Mark Casey this morning after waking up with a belter of a sugar hangover following one of the most lucrative trick or treat sessions of his 10-year-old life, before calling on his parents to let him sleep it off. Mirroring thousands of school children across the nation,… Read more »
SMILING vacantly in your direction and awaiting your overwhelmingly positive reaction, local couple Jamie Hylind and Aoife Dodds think it unfathomable that you would be anything other than highly impressed by their Gomez and Morticia Addams get up. “I’m just surprised the crowds haven’t started gathering around us to worship us like we were Gods,”… Read more »
SIX HOURS of wrangling and coaxing her beloved dog Cassie, who was clearly distressed, into a costume has been labelled a ‘waste’ by local woman Eleanor O’Faolain after the resulting photo garnered a pathetic 17 likes across her social media accounts. “While I was in no way motivated to dress Cassie as Satan solely to… Read more »
LOCAL melter Eoghan Daherty has busted out his favourite bit of Halloween trivia just in time for the spooky season, which also happens to be his only bit of Halloween trivia and something that he’s shared countless times before. “You know Halloween is an Irish thing, right? We invented that” said Daherty to his workmates,… Read more »
A COMBINATION of staff shortages, burnout, waiting lists and a rise in Covid cases and hospital admissions has seen Irish hospitals claim the top spot in Ireland’s annual scariest places for Halloween list. Usually an accolade bestowed upon a haunted house where the Devil is alleged to have played cards, or an abandoned Church were… Read more »
TRADITIONALISTS who had feared that today’s youth had forgotten the old customs of Ireland can today breathe a sigh of relief, as a plucky young group of Waterford youths have banded together to honour the 22st of October with a prolonged fireworks celebration. With the majority of people thinking that Halloween is the only fireworks-worthy… Read more »
THE fact that it’s still September has not deterred one Waterford family from kicking off pumpkin carving season, with their modest 3-bedroom home already filling up with intricately carved, slowly decaying squashes and gourds. “What the fuck are they like” sighed a neighbour, watching as the O’Maoinligh clan put another jack-o-lantern out on the front… Read more »
SEVEN-year old Seamus Callaghan cemented his reputation as a ‘take-no-shit rule-breaker’ today, by regaling his classmates at St. Mary Of The Punctured Trachea NS with reports about how he went Trick Or Treating on Saturday night, restrictions be damned. Unlike the rest of his shibby-shite classmates, Callaghan and his brothers and ‘a load of lads’… Read more »
HALLOWEEN 2020, as the media has reminded you at least 47,000 times in the last hour, won’t be the typical Halloween your kids are used to, but here’s how you can still make it the magical holiday the Yanks stole from Samhain and turned into something infinitely more annoying. Move with your children to Taiwan… Read more »