THE GOVERNMENT announced today that all new water meters will include a ‘draw something’ app for the first one million lucky customers. Taoiseach Enda Kenny unveiled a prototype version of the new water measuring device this afternoon which has a circular 5 inch touch-screen display unit mounted on its head. The free gaming application will work in conjunction with the meters main goal… Read more »
A COUNTY Kilkenny woman is in fear for her life after a migraine led her to a Google search which then led her to a pain in the head search, which then lead her to search every possible condition on the internet, which then led her to pick out the worst one, a source close to… Read more »
ZIMBABWEAN dictator Robert Mugabe told family members and friends last night that his only regret was never featuring in an internet viral video campaign like ‘Kony 2012’. The cancer stricken leader flew to Singapore by private jet on Saturday for treatment, but took a turn for the best and is said to be suffering excruciating pain in his final… Read more »
CHILDREN who show the early signs of bad behaviour are said to be directly linked to being ‘spoiled little shits’, new research suggests today. In contrast, children who were not ‘spoilt rotten’ by their parents and extended family were less likely to create publicly embarrassing situations during childhood. It suggests that the traditional notion of ‘discipline’… Read more »
A pair of Chinese pandas at Edinburgh Zoo have finally mated after a Samantha Brick mask was placed on the female bears face. Tian Tian and Yang Guang will hopefully have babies this year thanks to a card board cut out of the beautiful woman’s face, Edinburgh Zoo’s press officer told WWN today. The successful attempt to mate followed other attempts on Tuesday and Wednesday were it seemed the male panda had no interest in the ordinary looking female…. Read more »
THE GOVERNMENT announced today that it is now facing a shortage of new tax ideas to piss people off with. Ministerial departments converged in a crisis meeting yesterday evening after shocking figures were released on how many home-owners actually paid the household charge. Environment minister Phil Hogan told WWN today that the household charge was the governments… Read more »
FUEL prices are set to soar even higher this month after ‘something really complicated happened somewhere foreign or something’ say distributors. Four of the major producers of petroleum based fuels in the UK and Ireland claim that the hugely complex turn of events has left them with no choice but to push pump prices up another 10… Read more »
CUBAN authorities laid out the red carpet today for the visiting absolute-monarch of The Vatican City, Pope Benedict XVI – aka The Holy See, aka The Holy Father, aka Joseph Ratzinger. “We have many funny stories to swap, and some serious ones too.” said President Raul Castro, speaking to the assembled government-approved journalists in Havana…. Read more »
A DUBLIN man has confirmed today that all his Facebook friends think he is ‘really cultured now’ after translating his name from, Peter Cody, to the Irish version, Peadar Mac Oda, late last month. The 27-year-old immature student said he had already felt the difference in people’s attitude towards him on the social networking site. “It was like I… Read more »
