Disappointment As Students Scoring Teachers At Debs Down By 20%

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STUDENTS up and down the country have been hit by some bad news as there has been a year on year decrease of 20% in the number of students scoring their former teachers at their Debs.

Numerous factors have been cited for the drop in figures, chief among them the decision made by 20% of students to stop lying about bedding their sexy French teacher.

“I think we’re entering a new era of honesty,” explained head of the secondary school students union of Ireland Tom Flynn, “and I think most crucially students have woken up to the so-called ‘teacher attractiveness bias'”.

The teacher attractiveness bias is the term given to the phenomenon whereby students find themselves, finding teachers far more attractive than they are purely due to the fact that they are teachers.

“A recent scientific study showed that a teacher who was a 6 out of 10 in attractiveness in everyday life suddenly became a 9 once he or she entered her student’s classroom”.

With students more aware of this phenomenon they seem less interested in pursuing their teachers on their Debs night instead favouring alternative options which usually end with embarrassing viral video internet fame.

Despite the decrease, there will of course still be room for several students to etch their name into school folklore by using the perfect blend of bravado and believable lies.

“Obviously, students are disappointed by the drop in the numbers, but just this week we heard a student at one of the first Debs of the calendar year managed to have a threesome with his Biology and English teacher,” added Flynn, “but obviously that is a one-off as he doesn’t want to get tied down”.

“We’ve also heard reports that one student slept with Rihanna at his Debs as she just happened to be in Portlaoise at the time, however, we cannot confirm the veracity of his story although it is probably true”.

This news comes not long after a recent tabloid expose which implied students were now spending an average of €60,000 each on their Debs night with many unruly and immoral students getting pregnant six times in one night.

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